Doesn't it all boil down to respect? Give a child age-appropriate choices and respect his choice. Listen to his concerns and respect his right to have an opinion even when you disagree (even if you as the parent have the final say). Hear and help him to identify his feelings and respect his right to have them. BUT be there for guidance and to set some ground rules that are consistent. If a child has firm limits and boundaries, my belief is that he will feel more secure and self-confident to explore the choices that ARE available to him. Aren't best friends the ones you can always turn to for support? They are the ones you can share anything with. They are the ones who accept you unconditionally with all your quirks and flaws. I only hope my children will think that way about me some day. JMHO :) f course now they are not quite 3 and "NO" is all I ever hear! <smile> Yvonne Mom to triplets: Robert (NDA), Anthony (PVL, CP), and Our Angel, Joseph {April 14/97-Dec. 31/98}. Ottawa, Canada