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Subject: [houstonpeaceroundtable] Fwd: How We Got Alan Keyes to Dive Into
        Our Mosh Pit
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Subject:      How We Got Alan Keyes to Dive Into Our Mosh Pit
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January 28, 2000


How We Got Alan Keyes to Dive Into Our Mosh Pit
(and other scenes from our first week of shooting)


Dear friends,

Yes, that mosh pit — the one that has thrown a big,
weird monkey wrench into the first week of the 2000
Presidential campaign — was ours.

And the marching band outside the execution of Billy
Hughes in Texas on Monday night, complete with
cheerleaders chanting, "George [Bush], George, he's
our man! If he can't kill 'em, no one can!" — that was
ours, too.

And, yes, that was us with Rage Against the Machine
on Wednesday as we forced the New York Stock
Exchange to hit the panic button and slam down the
steel gates over their doors, sealing off the entire
building an hour before closing time, and resulting in
my near-arrest by the men who wear the Giuliani blue.

All this, and we are only four days into shooting our
next season of "The Awful Truth." If this is what a
typical week is going to be like for us this time around,
then I guess the line item in our budget for "lawyers
and bail money" is grossly underestimated.

We usually don't like to discuss what we're up to
before we air our work on Bravo and Channel 4 U.K.,
but the Iowa Mosh Pit has become such a huge item
in the news that I thought you might want to know just
what the heck is going on.

It was bizarre watching the Republican Presidential
debate Wednesday night, with Bush and Bauer and
Keyes all going nuts over what we did Sunday night
at the Iowa Caucuses. New York Times columnist Gail
Collins called it "the defining moment" of the campaign
so far (to read her column in the Times click here
 <A HREF="http://www.nytimes.com/library/opinion/collins/012800coll.html">http
://www.nytimes.com/library/opinion/collins/012800coll.html</A>).
Jay Leno devoted a chunk of his monologue to it
Thursday night. BBC Radio woke me up this morning
wanting an explanation.

Here's what happened:

As part of what will be our ongoing "coverage" of this
year's Presidential election, we decided to go to Iowa
to see how far these candidates will go to get an
endorsement. We know they will take money from just
about anyone and promise favors and legislation to the
highest bidders. With that as our system of "democracy,"
it leaves us, the people, with few avenues to have our
voice heard.

So, we announced to all the contenders for the White
House that "The Awful Truth" will endorse any candidate
who jumps into our mosh pit. Simple as that. No large
sums of dirty money, no favors or back-room deal making.
Just dive into the outstretched arms of 100 degenerate —
but registered — youth, and you are our candidate.

I hauled this mosh pit around Iowa in a large flatbed
truck, crisscrossing the state and inviting the Presidential
candidates to join the teeming and tattooed masses. The
response from the candidates varied from a stunned and
frightened Steve Forbes (who quickly walked by the pit
giving it a nervous thumb up), to front-runner George W.
Bush (who told me, "behave yourself, Michael — I see
you're up to your old tricks — why don't you go get a
real job?")

Gary Bauer, on the other hand, called the Des Moines
police — who sent five cruisers and a paddy wagon to
arrest the pit. The police, though, could not contain
their laughter when they arrived and saw the group of
purple-haired, pierce-lipped, 18-year olds jumping
wildly in place to the music of Rage Against the
Machine.

Next, we drove over to a town hall event being staged
by former Reagan ambassador, Alan Keyes. As the
mosh pit rolled into the parking lot, with Rage music
blaring ("It has to start somewhere/ It has to start
sometime/ What better place than here/ What better
time than now..."), Keyes staffers came outside to
see what all the noise was about. When informed that
Keyes could get the endorsement of "The Awful Truth,"
Keyes' national field director dove into the pit, hoping
that would suffice for our support. He then brought out
"Uncle Sam," a Keyes supporter who was dressed in
full Uncle Sam regalia. He, too, jumped in.

But we told the Keyes staff that it had to be Keyes
himself. Minutes later, Alan Keyes emerged and,
against the loud protests of his Secret Service agent,
Keyes climbed to the top of the makeshift stage on
the back of the truck and dove backwards into the
screaming mosh pit. He then body-surfed the entire
pit, carried like a wave on the outstretched hands of
the tightly compact crowd. He did a couple of body
slams with a spiked-hair youth from Ames High
School and left the pit with the official endorsement
of the show.

"We knew Alan Keyes was insane," I told the press
who were trying to understand the irony or the point.
"We just didn't know HOW insane he was until that
moment. We now feel a responsibility to test the
remaining field of candidates."

On Wednesday night, the five remaining Republican
candidates held their big New Hampshire debate. And
what did they spend their time fighting about? "The
Awful Truth Mosh Pit!" The Reuters news agency called
it "surreal," and Gary Bauer went into nutty overdrive
accusing Keyes of being "anti-family" because he was
moshing to the music of "The Machine Rages On" (!),
calling the group "pro-terrorist" and saying that's what
the "kids at Columbine" listened to.

For the past three days, our phone has been ringing
off the hook. Hundreds of papers around the country
have covered the story. The pundits on all the blowhard
cable shows can't shut up about it. And for some reason,
for at least the better part of one week, we have been
able to get the Republicans to stop talking about who will
be best at taking away women's rights or building more
prisons and forced them to occupy their time arguing
about the moral merits of the Mosh Pit.

As we head into the weekend, we are loading up the
flatbed truck and driving off to New Hampshire with
our portable mosh pit. We will personally attempt to
greet John McCain  — if he was tough enough for the
Hanoi Hilton, this will be like Motel 6; Al Gore — the
mosh pit is perhaps the only place where being stiff is
an asset; and Bill Bradley — we are convinced this will
be his only chance to stage a comeback (plus, he's the
only candidate big enough to kick every one of these
kids' butts).

Keyes had been written off in Iowa before he jumped
into our pit. The day after moshing, he scored an upset
third-place finish in the double digits among those who
actually cared about caucusing (90 percent of all Iowans
knew better and chose not to vote). These other
candidates would be crazy if they DIDN'T jump into
the pit!

"The Awful Truth" is willing to multiple-endorse, just
like the big money people do when they write big
checks to both the Democrats and Republicans. To be
known as the only group to have endorsed Alan Keyes
is something we may just never be able to live with,
and we are hoping to rectify that in New Hampshire.


This past Monday night, we attended the execution of
death row inmate, Billy Hughes, in Huntsville, Texas.
George W. Bush is now responsible for approving and
carrying out the killing of 117 people, a record. We
decided to show up and celebrate his achievement.
We brought a marching band, cheerleaders and fans
to hold a tailgate party in the prison's parking lot. How
did the pro-death penalty crowd react? Well, they're
threatening a lawsuit, so we'll do our best to get it on
the air in May.


A few weeks ago, I was asked by Rage Against the
Machine to direct their next music video, something
I've never done. Their song is about the evils of our
economic system and the era of greed in which we
live. So, like, I had a few ideas...

On Wednesday we quickly set the band up on the
steps where George Washington was first sworn in
as President, on the corner of Wall and Broad Streets
in lower Manhattan. Quite a large crowd came out of
the brokerage houses and banks where the business
of America is conducted on a daily basis.

The police also came out. They ordered the makeshift
concert to cease, but before we had a chance to stop,
four officers jumped me and put me in one of those
police locks like you see on that excellent and
informative show, "COPS." One tried to break my arm,
the other put a choke hold on my neck. In all my years
of shooting in New York, I have never had this happen,
and all I could think of was, well, I just hope it's a new
plunger.

When the band and the crowd saw this, they went nuts.
Hundreds of them jumped two police barricades and
tore across the street to the front door of the New York
Stock Exchange, ground zero of American Capitalism.
It was a sight to behold. The police were so distracted
with carting me away they couldn't catch up to the
band — who, by this time, had made it inside the first
set of double doors to the Exchange.

At that moment, someone must have hit the riot button
inside the Stock Exchange because suddenly these
large steel gates came crashing down in front of the
second set of double doors. Then all the gates of the
Exchange came down. Clank! Clank! Clank! For the
first time anyone could recall, the New York Stock
Exchange went into lockdown — a full hour before its
official closing time. The police left me and rushed
over to break up the madness. But the band and their
fans are faster than I was and escaped the clutches
of the police.

You can catch the video on MTV in mid-February and
me in court by late March.

Well, that's my first week back at work. If you'd like
to see footage of Alan Keyes in our mosh pit — or
me body slamming Senator Orin Hatch — click here:
 <A HREF="http://www.michaelmoore.com/moshpit.html">http://www.michaelmoore.co
m/moshpit.html</A>
Or check out the Rage scene on Wall Street.
 <A HREF="http://www.michaelmoore.com/rageslide1.html">http://www.michaelmoore
.com/rageslide1.html</A>

I'll be back reporting live and moshing from New
Hampshire on "Politically Incorrect", Tuesday night,
February 1, on ABC.

Until then...

Michael Moore
[log in to unmask]
<A HREF="http://www.michaelmoore.com">http://www.michaelmoore.com</A>


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