Man is an adaptive animal,  He adapts to the SYSTEM he is in by taking
on its "color"--if it is sick, he becomes sick.  Perhaps it is only
covertly
sick, but the "patient" or "scapegoat" mal-adapts through symptoms--he
is
identified as "bad" or "mad" but actually the whole system is sick.
His
symptoms are the only appropriate way to adapt to that system.  My
mal-adaptation to the  oppressors--fighting, resentments,
self-defense,
self-pity, whatever--put me on the same level and the whole body
became
armoured in the same "husky" way.  I was armored thick in these
codependent
triangles and the result was extremely weakened digestion and
elimination--the inability to detoxify each day.  All creativity
stopped
and my identity was lost in the struggle.  I was part of the family
system
only by amputating parts of Self to adapt.  Only by severing all ties
and
electing to live way out in the desert wilderness in a small cabin
could
I DEBUNK these codependent blocks and then RECONSTRUCT the Self.
ALONE
IN NATURE, MAN CLEARS; and I did beautifully.

I still live in the beautiful desert wilderness, a sequined sultan
sequestered in sweet solitude away from the maddening crowds and old
systems keeping me down.
There was no more need for armoring, the body streamlined and all the
energy
reconfigured into a new matrix.  My story is told on Stop-eating.com,
under
"Anorexia:  the system," and is very common among anorexics who are
psychotically codependent with the anorexogenic system (i.e. the
system
because of which anorexia becomes the only appropriate
reaction--wishing to
become invisible since one is already disconfirmed in the sexist
system).
I had a different father from my two much older sisters who were
extremely
dominating and fascistic--I was much darker--and so felt very much
like
a Jew in Nazi Germany ( I was continuously frightened of what they'd
do
next).

It was precisely at this time that I elected to become fruitarian,
feeling
it would give me an edge, otherwise I'd go under and be forever under
their
control (lilke Jung's article "Three sisters"--its archetypically very
treacherous territory, also see the quip "there is no house big enough
for
two (let alone three) women."  The fruitarianism only isolated me
further
from the system, incurring more wrath towards me (esp. since it was
obvious I thought fruitarians were "superior" at the time, and that
they--the persecutors-- were filled with mucus, decades-old feces, and
worms).
Of course, this all made things impossible.  Fruitarianism didn't help
in this
situation, and all I did was cry (toxic brain from codependency,
inability to
completely detox) for ten years.  When my father died I managed to cut
the
situation loose for good, and became a totally new person.  Having
seen the
system that kept me down (in a hypnotized trance with me one-down) I
broke
out and shot up to Selfhood.  I found myself in the desert wilderness
and to
this day have what is called the recovered but "crystalized
anorexogenic
personality" meaning having many acquaintenances like any mature
woman, but
not getting too close to anyone in particular.  I just love solitude,
study,
contemplation, and walking with my 3 dogs (my new family)