Peter posted:

[ I am posting some amusing excerpts from the first two issues of the NFL
[ newsletter "Just Eat An Apple" that was sent to me by a friend:

[ If you ever wondered what happened to fruitarian strongman Jeff Ross here
[ is the answer:
[
[ "August 6, - Militant raw-foodist Jeff Ross is thrown in jail by police for
[ beating up a cooked-food eater.  The victim confronted Mr. Ross at the
[ beach, laughing at him for eating fruit.  Mr. Ross threw a punch that
[ missed, but followed up with an uppercut knocking the cooked-food eater
[ unconscious.  For subscribers interested in writing to or sending food to
[ Mr. Ross in jail, please send to Nature's First Law and items will be
[ forwarded."

Jo comments:

It seems Jeff Ross is drawn to challenges; on a positive note maybe he took
the opportunity during his incarceration to fast. Otherwise I hope he
learned something from this experience.

[ "Fat and ugly Kirt "Stand for Something Or Fail For Anything" Nieft does
[ not have a job. He lounges around his shack all day (mired in his poverty
[ <SNIP>
[ positive factor, for he stands as a warning of exactly what happens to
[ those who take up the DUM (dead uncooked meat) diet."

I applaud Kirt for not responding to this rubbish, but maybe he's
experienced this type of crap before and realizes it jes' ain't worth it.

[ "Anyone interested in the Raw-Food Diet who has browsed the Internet for
[ information on the subject has inevitably come across a cooked-food moron
[ named Tom Billings (Milquetoast Tom).  This pale, emaciated, pencil-necked
[ <SNIP>
[ diet and vegetarianism?  Hmmm... Maybe he is just sitting back laughing at
[ all of us raw eaters whilst meditating in a dark room in some stupid yoga
[ position whilst listening to some ridiculous Indian music with a red dot on
[ his forehead?

I meditate in a sunny room, practise ashtanga yoga, and I dig East Indian
classical. My forehead is cosmetic-free, however. For a second I kinda felt
crestfallen about my choices in life.

[ "The truth is that Tom Billings is not a raw foodist, nor has he ever been
[ one, nor is he currently a raw, living foods proponent.  However, he is in
[ <SNIP>
[ single day of his life, he never went a day without rice!  Billings hides
[ behind a computer screen bingeing on rice and tells everyone that cooked-
[ foodism is dangerous."

The same sentiments I expressed to Kirt applies here as well.

[ From an article called "A Day at... Nature's First Law" we get an insight
[ into the daily lives of our brave, raw food warriors.
[
[ <SNIP>
[
[ "10:00am Stephen's place.  This is the Nature's First Law world
[ headquarters.  Heavy metal music is blasting, as usual.

NOW we're entering Electric Ladyland. Unfortunately it's off-topic to this
list and I wouldn't want to waste bandwidth by expounding upon contemporary
vs classical metal, flash vs essence, 'shrooms vs speed, Strat vs Les Paul,
etc. I hope command central isn't adorned with MegaDeth (sp?) posters as
well.

[ "2:00pm  We've got unexpected guests -- some groupie girls who think we're
[ the coolest things around.  We don't really have time for that today, so I
[ gently ask them to leave us alone. " ah...won't those chicks one day
[ understand that being a super-hero is time-consuming!""

I KNEW I had an ulterior Freudian motive in going all raw. The writer (I
assume editor Fred Patenaude) does exhibit grace, I will concede that.

[ The cartoon characters Beavis and Butthead and shock jock Howard Stern seem
[ to be the main sources of inspiration for these merry loonies of the
[ dietary fringe which makes reading "Just Eat an Apple" highly entertaining;

Thanks Peter for your review. I had requested a sample article to be posted
on the Raw List but there was no response from the editor. This little peek
has been sufficient.

Although I do appreciate its comic value, this is hate literature. Pathetic
drivel. Poorly written at that. I wonder what other subscribers think? I'm
going for a run.