WARNING SMILE

AS Professor Higgins might have put it, the brain drain may not have
been in vain. From the research laboratories of the American industry
there has lately come a toothpaste which glows in the dark and
reflects the headlights of motor cars. Whether it cleans teeth more
effectively than precipitated chalk or soft twigs has not been
officially announced.

It is, however, the first toothpaste that can be advertised, not only
as providing sexual success and rapid promotion for its purchasers,
but also as making
a definite contribution to road safety. So long as nocturnal
pedestrians who use it can remember to walk facing the traffic and to
keep grinning fixedly, their prospects of
being run over (from the front, anyhow) should be reduced.

This should make for some reduction in the after-dark accident
statistics, providing that the Ministry of Transport arranges
sufficient advance publicity to ensure that all
night-drivers are aware of the radiant toothpaste. Otherwise, the more
imaginative among them, when faced with rows of grinning skulls at the
curbside may shy at this sudden
Hallowe'en, swerve up the opposite pavement and mow down in lamp-posts
what they've missed in pedestrians. Light up your face with a smile,
must be the slogan, and light up
your smile with Glittergum, the only toothpaste with built-in
cat's-eyes.

--
[log in to unmask] (Liza May)