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Subject:
From:
Ellie Rotunno <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Sun, 2 Nov 1997 21:04:48 -0800
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Peter Brandt wrote:
> Everybody is entitled to their opinion, but I think that it is important
> that we try not to overreact when we feel judged and preached to

I don't think an exprssion of my anger when someone tries to tell me I'm
immoral if I eat animals is an overreaction. If I start slugging with
words or otherwise, I am overreacting.


> Somebody openly judging or ridiculing me does usually not get to me that
> much - what I perceive as the indirect/ passive aggressive expressions such
> as boredom do because I feel caught in a trap where defending myself only
> makes the situation worse.

I agree, boredom can reflect anger, 'the silent treatment.'If someone
openly ridicules me it gets to me, and I  believe I have a right to
express my anger in either case.

> >I used to be a church goer, but now would be totally bored (angry) at the
>> sermons, which I believe are judgemental and attempts to tell me I need
>> help with my relationship with God.

> But what if you are in denial and God is trying to reach you. ;-)

Could be. I'm still recovering from an "all or nothing" attitude. Perhaps
I should go to another church. I do believe that God reaches me through
others and I hope I am open to confrontation. Anger at confrontation can
be denial. However, I think it's important to release anger in a
healthy way even if I am in denial. Repressed anger is the source of
emotional illness.

> Asserting ones right is not always the wisest thing to do.  In the Los
> Angeles traffic with its eruptions of freeway rage it could cause you your
> life.

Quite right, I have confronted priests who for example have preached that
God is like a strict parent who sends you to your room when you are
naughty, but I'm not about to express my anger at some knife wealding
maniac on the street. My fight or flight response would be flight.

My best, Ellie


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