I want to thank you Peter for taking the time to respond to my message.  I
feel good knowing that even though I may have not gotten the answer yet to
my challenges with sugar, cravings, etc..., there are some people out there
who not only know how to truly  listen but who genuinely seem to care.
        What I feel "intuitively" right now is a desire to have a diet that
is not too extreme- one high in quality protein ( I lift weights ),
moderate carbs, and fresh salads, and some fruit.  If I could just be aware
of what I put into my body on a daily basis to accomlish this, I would be
happy.  Then, I could eventually gradually lean towards a more raw diet.
There is a place I would like to  be where I could eat for nutrition and
mild enjoyment, enjoy exercising ( which I do on a regular basis- no matter
what) and making my self feel stronger and healthier.  Nothing extreme-
just *normal*.  Wishful thinking? I live in hope.
         I have lived a life of being seperate from my  society .  When I
did drugs, it was usually by myself.  The things that I like to do the
most- most of them I like to do alone.  I think that a BIG part of what I
need (want) to learn in my life is to become more comfortable in all that I
am as a person and reach out and be in the presence of others much more.  I
can still dislike football (unlike my father and brother in law), believe
that politics is NOT where it's at for trandscending the problems (
challenges) of today, enjoy my bliss while windsurfing into the sun, go for
walks alone relishing in the magic of everyday life,etc,etc...AND perhaps
learn to really be INVOLVED with my world- volunteer my time to people in
need, take the risk of loving others, learn how to really listen to where
people are at, read the paper to atleast keep up with the events happening
around me,etc.   These are the things that I would like to create, as well
as financial abundance, reaching for my dreams,etc.  Hopefully while I
learn to not hide behind food and the comfort it provides, I can
simultaneously learn to do it while becoming MORE linked with my
society,NOT more seperate- something that I have experienced doing
"radical" diets, etc.  Bottom line-- how do I learn to become more of who I
am as an indidvidual AND to become more integrated with my society?
        Well ,enough philosophisizing for now, I was just in the mood to
share where I am at.

Carl Contino
[log in to unmask]
Buffalo, NY