Hi --

As any really good allergist will tell you, the best way to determine if
someone has a food allergy is to spend a week or two keeping a comprehensive
food diary (food, ingredients, drinks, vitamins -- anything ingested) while
someone else spends that same time keeping a comprehensive health diary
(colds, fevers, stomach aches, moodiness, etc.).  Then at the end of your
designated time period track down the relationship between what was ingested
and the subject's health.  This is an exercise well-worth doing, as you
might find that milk is NOT the primary culprit, or that there is a second
culprit in addition to milk.

As for living without milk ... it takes some time to become accustomed to
it, but once you've managed the transition it's pretty straightforward.  My
web site, Eating without Casein, provides LOTS of basic information that
you'll find helpful, including some meals to start out with, a list of
banned ingredients, and how to deal with special situations such as
hospitalizations and preparation for natural disasters.

In my family, the milk-allergic among us eat their cereal with apple juice
poured over it, drink calcium-enriched juices, make their hot chocolate with
rice milk, and enjoy various tofutti bars and sorbets for dessert.  We've
all decided that the milk-free "cheeses" aren't worth it.  Without casein
they don't melt properly and they taste pretty nasty.  Your family's
taste-buds may vary.  I do a great deal of cooking from scratch at home, but
we also know what they can eat when we go out.  (We really like going to
restaurants, as they allow the non-allergic among us to indulge in cheese
lasagna and quiche, treats we don't do at home.)

The hardest part is convincing family members that milk really is poison.
It helps to demonstrate a before and after.  Child miserable before the milk
elimination becomes happy child after, with occasional miserable episodes
when milk slips in by accident.  It helped us a lot that, after a couple of
years of almost no growth, our child gained several inches in height
following the milk elimination.  His personality also changed, becoming much
calmer and more focused.  (Nothing like the elimination of pain to permit
calm!)

I hopes these thoughts help.  Do visit my web site for more detailed
information.  Most people find it quite helpful.

--Beth Kevles
  Eating without Casein webmaster
  web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html
  Standard Disclaimer:  Nothing in this message should be construed as
medical advice!