Hello Habib, Mattarr, and Isatou.  Why is it that it is always the woman's fault?  I mean, someone did say that the girl's brother was with a swedish lady?  So it is OK for him but not for the woman?
     And the sister from Nigeria?  Why should she be put to deah, I mean,s he didn't make the baby alone.  I know the father of the child denied it, but then they just let him off the hook, no questions asked?
     I don't know.  It just seems, and it doesn't really matter what culture or religion you are talking about, that there are these double standards when it comes to menand women.  
     It just all gets very frustrating to me.  This in some ways reminds me of an incident that happened to me a couple of weeks ago.  I am going through an agency which tries to help people with disabilites find employment.  Anyway, my job developer had come to take me to fill out job applications, and on the way home, I was explaining to her why I covered my hair, and the whoel thing about dressing modestly.  Now this lady had known me for a couple of weeks before that.  She knows I am very outspoken and am not afraid to speak up about anything.  But on telling her I was a Muslim, the first thing out of her mouth was that she could never bbe a part of a religion which oppresses women and considers them beneath men.  At that point, we had reached my house, and I briefly tried to explain toher that Islam itself does not oppress women, but people oppress them, and that a lot of things that some people might think are Islamic are really cultural practices.
     It just made me wonder if her opinion of me had changed now that she knew I was a Muslim.  Where before she may have seen me as a capable, assertive woman, now I wondered if she saw me as some poor oppressed soul.  As I was walking with her toward my building, I told her that I would never be in a religion where I was oppressed, and that I didn't feel oppressed or beneath anyone, man or woman, and that as a Muslim woman, I knew what my rights were.  And I left it at that...
     Inshallah, maybe this had some affect.  I don't know, I guess I was just kind of shocked by the whole incident.  I didn't expect it, and I still wonder if I handled it as well as I could have.
     Anyway, sorry for such a long email.  I guess I just had to vent.  Take care all...
Ginny

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