I am very pleased pastor Warren brought the plight of orphaned children to
the fore in his recently-hosted Saddleback Forum for the Presidency. I am
disappointed the two candidates Obama and McCain did not seem to have a clue how
to address the issue. Perhaps they have no appreciation of the emergency.
After we look at Orphaned children of Political refugees/asylees, I will
endeavour to offer a broad perspective on the work of SOS Kinderdorf of the late
great Hermann Gmeiner and where we and Yahya and our fellow Gambian citizens
fit in that 'ever-elusive' puzzle.
Haruna.
In a message dated 7/1/2008 9:46:15 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:
Verily Suntou,
Orphanage created by separation/divorce is most pesky. We encourage
marriage, especially when children have already been conceived, but we also
acknowledge that the salvage value of some marriages according to the
partners in
marriage warrants terminal divorce. The children of such divorces are
indemnified
in such eventuality. And, any secours for such children and needy spouse
could have the collateral effect of reunited families.
You are quite right in that communal assistance generally depends the whims
of members of the Orphaned children's family, clan, or immediate community
and
the scope of such assistance depends not only on the capacity of the
benefactors but on other relationship-calculus. Meanwhile, the orphaned
children
still need secours for value-life.
I understand that children orphaned by a parent/s who are on scholarship
overseas, volunteering with an NGO, gainfully employed by corporations, or
who
are economic refugees overseas, do have discretionary lattitude in ensuring
the continued sustenance of their children or reuniting their families. It
still
remains that many a children are orphaned in such situations. Therefore, any
regime of secours, albeit transitional, must take into consideration
delinquent parents. For it is the children who will be the main focus.
Perhaps
effort to negotiate between such parents and family members could form part
of the
secours if the period of orphanage exceeds a certain Flux (30-40 days).
What
do you think?
I have read your notes on spouses who leave wives behind and wander the
earth as economic refugees. However, I was not aware of your notes on
parents who
leave children behind. Perhaps you could kindly share that with us as part
of this conversation.
I understand you to view Orphans of deceased parent/s to be more important
than other types of orphans. I would caution such comparative assessment.
This
is perhaps why some programs for orphans lack the requisite address. The
reason is that an orphan is one who lacks the minimum parental nurturing
and
support. We recognize that even children orphaned by the death of one or
both
parents do grow up to attain majority age, or as you advised, may obtain
the
requisite nurturing and support from other family or community members.
Indeed
are better off than some orphans of divorced parents or politically-exiled
parents, the latter of which could be our next sub-topic.
Suntou, you share some serious commentary and I encourage you to propose
some regime of secours to your imam both in Coventry and Gambia and
encourage
your friends and family to do likewise. Should our conversation here yield
some
added secours, I hope you will be an integral part of, and participant to
such.
Haruna.
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Raise funds for your favourite charity by using _www.goodsearch.com_
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In a message dated 7/1/2008 4:52:28 A.M. Mountain Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:
Haruna, the angles you highlighted are very important. orphans are not in
the situation of death but also through divorce and other peculiar
engagements.
from the perspective i see it is that, communal assistant goes with family
ties and close friendship. in our context as Gambians, one may find it
difficult to categorise men/women who are away from their children for years
as
orphan children. i have highlighted that in the commentary i did on
"Gambian
immigrant in U.S" some of our brothers leave young children and alas they
never
witness the growth of this children, the families .extended family look
after
this kids. but the most important of orphans are orphans through the usual
understanding, that is death. as i am writing this, two more Gambians has
passed away in the U.K. one in Manchester and another in Crowley. i don't
know
the names yet, but i attended emergency meeting today to raise fund for the
deceased Kalifa saidykhan in Coventry. so understanding orphanage is
very important. keep up the enlightenment. May God bless the soul of this
two Gambians. amen.
This conversation has taken us through an identification of who orphaned
children are. We have narrowed our focus to a critical Flux term reserved
for
bereavement. That is normally between 30-40 days or until the monogamous
spouse
re-marries. The perspective is to devise a plan of secours that encourages
family cohesion and reunions, and discourages divorce or singular life. The
Flux period/term is underpinned in religio-traditional lore and therefore
will
be worthwhile to investigate what assistance regime churches and mosques
have
in place for such secours. Any considerations we make here will help to
augment those programs and where non-existent, we encourage congregants to
propose
it to their church, mosque, or synagogue.
In the area of Orphanage which is a result of a parent or parents separated
from their families due to assignments, work, scholarship, or volunteer
work
overseas, it is safe to say that that falls more under the purview of the
individual concerned and the NGO, employer, and or benefactor. It is
sometimes
hard to turn down a lucrative job assignment, scholarship, or volunteer
work
overseas especially for citizens of developing countries. However, if we
are
married or have children, it is only prudent that we insist on some
accomodation, in writing, from employers, benefactors, or NGO's, for a
schedule of
re-uniting with our family not to exceed a period of one year. I understand
that
some employers and NGO's already take such responsibilities into
consideration but it may be harder for educational benefactors especially
non-governmental scholarships. In such cases, and as part of your
negotiation, you are best
advised to negotiate for on campus or part time work and possibly airfare
to
visit your family at least once a year. The part time or on-campus work is
to
enable you to still support you familial responsibilities and other
incidental expenses.
Some of us volunteer with NGO's as one of my brothers is doing now in
Darfur
as am sure many are doing. It is comforting to know that NGO's incorporate
considerations for our own families we leave behind as we lend a hand to
others around the world who are suffering. I advise all NGO's to consider
such if
they haven't already and to encourage family cohesion, to afford volunteers
family leaves at least once every six months. If the duration of
volunteering
will last longer than 3 years, I recommend rotating volunteers in much the
same way as soldiers serving overseas are rotated. Soldiers, whether
peace-keeping or war-making or defensive, fall under the purview of
governments and
multi-lateral agencies so we will not consider soldiers in this
conversation.
It therefore appears that work or scholarship-exiled Parent/s have enormous
lattitude and secours for their families. We have now removed such children
from our consideration of Orphaned children. We can turn our attention to
Orphanage caused by Political-exile.
Haruna. I yield for ideas/suggestions/other views.
In a message dated 6/27/2008 7:16:52 P.M. Mountain Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:
Thank you Suntou.
You have, perhaps unawares, further advanced the conversation. I caution
against limiting orphanage to ONLY the absence of the father. I was at
great
pains to not yield to that albeit impressive angle. That said, I want to
commend
you for bringing up an important point viz:
"i am proud of many Gambian brothers who are divorce with spouses but still
take turns to look after their kid's. that is also another important
thing."
Suntou.
I will only add 'sisters' where you have brothers but the anecdote points
us
in this if transitional direction in the conversation to yield secours -
Most communities of folk have traditions of assistance to orphaned children
who have lost one or both parents. Even though this does not readily
address
orphans of exiled or estranged parents, it is worth our while to inventory
what resources we already have on the ground and expand on those. That is
why
what you shared is so valuable.
I understand that in Wollof, Mandinka, Jola, Fula, Sarahule, Toucouleur,
bedouin, Moor, Touareg and Serer traditions, when a father is deceased, one
of
his brothers, cousins, or another member of his family undertakes to
nurture
his bereaved wife and children. This tradition however is quasi-religious
and
part ethnic. In Christian communities, I do not know of a specific
tradition
for a brother, cousin, or family member to re-marry the bereaved wife of
their kin. However, the kind Christian heart does offer secours for the
bereaved
family only the wife either becomes a widower for life or is free to
re-marry
as she so chooses. Both safety nets are valuable for they provide a
semblance of stability and haven for the children. So in effect, there is
some
structure of continued support for the children and bereaved wives. Now
then, when
the mother is deceased, the father is generally free to re-marry n'importe
qui (as he desires) but advised to marry a wife who will be diligent in
nurturing the orphaned children as is reasonable within their means. More
often, the
death of one or both parents diminishes the family's resources
significantly
to a point where despair sets in. Other times, the man is married to other
wives with whom he has children. In such cases, we must redouble our
efforts
as 'other wives' to accept such children as our own and nurture them the
best
way possible. Some such communities may have a tradition of allocating the
children to the wives for shared secours.
It appears therefore that it is the diminished resources of the bereaved
wife or husband that we ought to focus on to find additional support. At
least
until they re-marry. This transitional period can mean the difference
between
continued valuable life and death. For example; the brother who, by
tradition,
must offer secours for the bereaved children and wife, may himself already
be struggling for food, home, nad education for his own children but out of
honour and respect, cannot refuse to take in the bereaved family. The
bereaved
father has more discretionary lattitude but still may need a critical
helping
hand during the transitional period of loss of the mother and when he
re-marries. We can see that in all cases, the transitional period which I
will call
the Flux term for brevity, is common to all. While re-marrying can be
encouraged, the children still need help during Flux. Most traditions have
a period
of bereavement for the wife (not sure if this is true for the husband),
generally between 30 - 40 days. Perhaps for those traditions, a focus on
Flux
Secours can be valuable.
Now none of what we have discussed so far has bearing on the orphans of
exiled or estranged parent/parents.
I yield now for more ideas/suggestions/views.
Haruna.
In a message dated 6/27/2008 7:59:14 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:
haruna, interesting. your human side is amazing. i wrote a poem about
children who grow up only with their mothers, i haven't publish it yet. i
am proud
of many Gambian brothers who are divorce with spouses but still take turns
to
look after their kid's. that is also another important thing.
unfortunately,
two years ago, i was in touch with an American lady who had a child with a
Gambian but the marriage ended and the man moved away, the lady was looking
for a Gambian to connect the child.
you raised valid points masoud.
Haruna Darbo wrote:
I have been wondering about the affairs and plight of children who have
lost
one or both parents. The query brought me to a need to identify such
children. Help me out if you can please.
I am inclined to describe orphaned children as follows:
1. Those children who have lost a Father and or Mother.
These children span all ages, from the baby who is nursing and suddenly
robbed of his or her parent/parents, to the adolescent who is on the verge
of
taking epochal matriculation exams, to the adult who has relied on his or
her
children's grandparents to nurture his or her own children. It runs the
gamut.
Suddenly there is not the person who calls you in from play when darkness
descends or to call you to prayer. The one who answers the principal's
summons
when you run roughshod of school rules or to receive your teacher's
personal
commendation for your good work. The one you share with your friends when
you
take turns boasting about your pedigrees. The one who recognizes you must
see
a doctor/dentist when you begin losing your first teeth. The one who brags
to
other parents about you or solicits counsel for you. The one who takes you
fishing, hunting, canoeing, tree-climbing, or on your first ferry-ride. The
one who cleans your nose in her mouth. The one who defends you when other
errant parents want to pin juvenile crimes on you in deference to their own
knuckleheads. The one who tells you not to climb out the window when he or
she
goes to sleep just so you can join you friends at the Jafandu party.
Reminiscences. Life support.
2. Those children who are abandoned if only temporarily.
These children have at one point in their lives or for all their lives
dealt
with one or both parents going away for further studies with the hope of
reunion (which desire is oft overtaken by other consideration and
intervening
time and events) or exiled by rogue governance, or overseas appointments.
Perchance, there is some way to yield such children relief and afford them
a
semblance of stability and continued value-life. Some of these parents may
have been the sole breadwinners of the family or may have been married to
one
or more wives the latter of whom are themselves at the precipice of hunger,
despair, and possibly suicide.
I encourage my friends here to consider these children and elevate the
conversation to some meaningful secours as only the mighty and
conscientious
of
Ellen might be capable of. I now yield for other view/suggestion/ideas.
Thank you my friends and fambul.
Haruna.
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