Phil,

That is excellent. I do appreciate you sharing that with us.

Thanks.

Love,
Pat Ferguson


At 10:54 PM 8/7/04, you wrote:
>This article came to mind one day this week.  I felt the Lord telling me to
>read my own article.  I started but got interrupted.  Tonight I went back,
>remembering I had not finished reading it, and read it again.  I believe
>somebody on here needs to here this.  I know I did and I wrote it.  Yes, I
>know you have all read this before.  So?  If you don't need it; don't read
>it.
>
>
>Where Is God When I Am Hurting?
>
>By Phil Scovell
>
>
>
>      I was probably about 8 or 9 years old when it happened.  When
>I got bored and couldn't find anything to do, I would always go
>and ask mom.  Her answer was always the same, "Spit in your shoe."
>Very creative.  When I got old enough to have a come back such as,
>"What else can I do besides that, mom?"  Her answer was always the
>same, "Ask me again and I'll tell you the same."  No help there, I
>reasoned.  When I got bored, however, I always did the one thing I
>really loved and that was riding my bike.
>
>      I would ride around my block because two sides of the square
>were busy streets with lots of traffic and two corners had gas
>stations.  I would pump for all I was worth and roll as fast as I
>could go.  One side was slightly down hill, too, and I could get
>my bike up to over 30 miles an hour.  I had to be careful around
>the two gas stations because cars were, of course, always coming
>and going but I kept a sharp eye out as I made the rounds.
>
>      One day, I decided to reverse my run and ride counter
>clockwise.  I have no idea why I made this decision but it was
>just something different to do.
>
>      At one corner was a used car lot.  It was small and the
>owners lived on my street above the car lot on a pretty high hill.
>His office building for the car lot was literally built right up
>to the sidewalk which ran in front of the business.  thus, when
>making the turn to the right around his building to empty out on
>my street, you could see nothing in advance.  You just had to pray
>nobody was there.  One day, my prayers were not answered.
>
>      As I made the turn, there was a car, big as life, directly in
>front of me.  He was on the wrong side of the road.  He wasn't
>supposed to be there.  Why was he there in the first place?  I
>stomped down on my breaks with all the strength I could muster
>but slammed directly into the car bumper and fell off my bike into
>the street.  The man jumped out and helped me.  He thought he had
>killed me I'm sure.  I was scared, not because of what had just
>occurred but what could have occurred.  I kept insisting I was all
>right as the man helped me pick my bike up.  Fortunately, I had
>slowed just enough that my bike sustained no damage.  The man
>inquired as to my safety one more time and I insisted I was fine
>and everything was ok.  He let me go.
>
>      As I peddled home, I realized how easily I could have been
>hurt, or even killed, by doing what I had just done.  From then
>on, I never rounded that corner without nearly stopping to a crawl
>in order to peak around to see if anybody was in the way.  To this
>day, I cannot figure out why that man's car was on the wrong side
>of the road.
>
>      Have you ever found yourself on the right side of the wrong
>side of something?  As far as you know, things are going along
>normally.  Nothing is different.  You've made few changes that
>should effect anything in your life.  Suddenly, wham.  You are on
>the ground eating dirt.  Where was God?  Why did He let it happen?
>You are scared and all sorts of horrible thoughts detonate deep
>within your imagination and you think all types of wild hideous
>frightening thoughts.  Maybe you just found out you have cancer.
>Perhaps you just lost your best friend.  Maybe a parent died after
>suffering far too long.  Perhaps one of your children, or
>grandchildren, are hurt and need emergency surgery.  Perhaps your
>mate announces they want a divorce.  Maybe you found out your 17
>year old daughter has had an abortion or your 16 year old son is
>HIV positive.  Maybe your Christian wife of 12 years, who has been
>working in the church with you as the youth pastor, announces she
>is lesbian and leaves you.  I had a man one day sitting in my
>office who told me he had been diagnosed as schizophrenic.  A
>pastor friend called me one day and asked if I knew any Christian
>counselors.  I asked why.  My friend said, a good pastor friend of
>his lived in California.  The man was married, had four children,
>and had been pastoring all his adult life.  He was in his mid
>fifties.  He had announced to his wife he was leaving her and the
>church because he was a latent homosexual.  What if one day, as a
>friend of mine did, you and your friends go out to the lake where
>you always swim.  Diving in, the water is too shallow and you
>strike your head.  When they drag you out just before you drown,
>you learn you are paralyzed from the neck down for the rest of
>your life.  Maybe you learn your fourteen year young daughter is
>pregnant.  What if you are a little boy or girl coming home from
>school only to be told your father died that day.  Where is God at
>all these times?
>
>      The answer is too simple for human minds to remotely
>comprehend.  God is where He has always been and that is with you.
>Sometimes you even get to see him.  My mom did when my father
>died.  Jesus stood on the other side of the bed and when my mom
>looked up, she saw Him.  She said she could have reached across
>the bed and touched; Him because He was that real.  Mom said,
>"You've come to take him?"  Jesus said, "Yes.  I have come for
>him."  Mom let dad go.  I believe that is the key, that is,
>letting go.  Sometimes that isn't possible without help from some
>friend who loves you and that I understand very well.  Some of
>these things I have mentioned I have experienced myself.  I have
>finally learned, through the pain and the fears and the tears,
>that Jesus is always with us and at the end of life, we will find
>Him there as well.