I used to be at a church where people didn't know the real me.  I made the
mistake of letting them know how I felt, that sometimes at midnight unlike
Paul I wasn't singing a song of praise but of  complaint and distress!
My goodness!!
These folks thought one need only  trust God....I did, and do, but sometimes
I worry, I figure the best way to find help and answers is to tell  God how
I feel, He already knows anyway so why pretend.
I say things like:
Father, I want to trust you, with all that concerns me, with all that might
or could happen tomorrow, with all that happened yesterday.  I've trusted
people before, and because they are imperfect, I was hurt, my confidence
betrayed.  I've seen your faithfullness, you have a good track record, my
past memories keep me from resting in your love.
The little girl I once was...never received the love and attention she so
longed for.  So today when my eyes fill with tears, instead of being like
that little girl who was afriad to tell her parents what was wrong  because
they would tell her that was nothing to cry about I run quickly to you and
ask, "Whad do you say to this little girl, grown woman....who still worries
in the night just as she did when her parents would  argue throwing chairs
and breaking dishes!
What do you have to tell her?
In the stillness of this moment  I hear an answer,  just as clearly as
though  someone were beside me
You don't have  to be afriad, you aren't alone anymore, the night need not
cause you to cry,
You are loved, just as you are...never let anyone take that from you.

Rhonda

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