Kathy you wrote concerning Chris...
"Money is more important than academics right now and we're considering
just letting him roll with it rather than fight him on it.  He knows what
is more important really, but he doesn't want to do the right thing so
we're thinking of taking Dr. Kevin Leman's advice and let Chris learn
through natural consequences of his choices.  It might sound kind of wimpy
on our part, but some day, he's going to wake up and regret chasing the
wrong things."

Brad responds: I can tell you from experience it is far from whimpy on your
part to stand back and not try to assert corrective measures or try to
explain why he ought do the things he ought do. Although I do not  have
outbursts of anger with my son, we do struggle with him regarding academics
verses playtime or his job, as well as general responsibility as we think
he ought be at his age. I am soooooooo tired of the lecture of why he needs
good grades, why he ought bring his homework home, and when he does bring
it home and completes it, to actually hand it in? Novel thought there huh?
He just doesn't connect the need for it, to his life beyond where he is
now. My son is a very hands on kid, very sharp. He can tell you anything
you want to know about speakers and how they work, car amps, radios, how to
install them and why this much ohm, watt  or impedance is needed and etc.
but if that was a class in school he'd flunk it, yet he is sought after by
those around him to install these amps, radios and speakers systems into
cars, and not all by kids but adults as well. He is a last minute Joe. He
waits until last minute to take action, and on the major stuff he will, the
minor stuff he won't. My wife and I were gone this weekend, jumped in the
car and headed west, in fact found ourselves sitting in Pat and Vernon
Ferguson's living room in South Dakota laughing and jawing away, again
thanks Pat for the visit, anyway upon our return, with my son being the
only one home all weekend, we came home to nearly all the windows open and
air conditioning running, as well back sliding door with only the screen
closed and open for all to do whatever. I've learned to not drive myself
nuts with fits of how I might punish him, but rather I tell him about it
with disappointment, and the next time we leave opportunity for him to be
responsible, I'll lay down some guidelines or else he pays for it in time
or his paycheck. He understands the latter. It is not easy to let them face
the consequences from their mistakes, especially when you know right where
they are headed and they get down on themselves when they do crash. Perhaps
the wisdom is better planted on ground that has been tilled with life's
experience where water can absorb and nourish it, rather than bouncing off
of hard headed surface not yet tilled. I'm supposing this occurred with us
to a degree as young adults too, but it does seem to be to a greater degree
of challenge, but perhaps that is my bias opinion *smile*.

Brad