Amen Brad,'
I usually end up coming around to very similar conclusions.  I still 
wish that I could play volleyball though!
Kathy


At 06:41 PM 1/24/2006, you wrote:
>It really can be a roller coaster of thought and emotion can't it. We have
>our own desires in healing based just strictly off what we might enjoy,
>like seeing our kids faces or joy ora romantic look across the room at our
>spouse and the like. And then we have the ability to dodge any well meaning
>gung ho Christians  spotting the cane across the sanctuary ready to slap
>you down and spit the blindness demon out of you haha. Or the person as you
>say that judges you saying you don't have faith daughter, if you only had
>enough faith in God and trust him, he'll take it away for you. And of
>course our own struggle with trying to understand why a "good" God would
>allow bad stuff to prevail. We have Job as well who yes, that man is an
>inspiration of strength and faith in the midst of pure hellish occurrences,
>yet we here today read how he was blessed what two fold was it when all
>said and done? Of course he didn't know that would happen in the midst of
>standing in the ashes scraping the sores off his body with a piece of
>broken pottery. If I remember that right, I'd have to look, but anyway. It
>can get overwhelming, and yet we know we can yet rely on God for sustenance
>of life. I look back at the blessings I have had in life which I know were
>acts of God. And I would hope that I wouldn't be one of the Lepers as Kathy
>referred who never came back to thank Christ. I never understood how they
>could have done that. Especially what being a leper meant then socially as
>well as the affects of the disease itself. This is my summary until God
>tells me different somehow.
>
>1. I can't believe he wants me this way.
>2. I am this way for some reason.
>3. I can only continue to seek that, and be more like Christ all the while
>and perhaps one day he'll fix  the problem.
>4. I'll not live a life of depression or weakness because of it, but only
>use it to make me stronger as a person and faith.
>5. Realize God is sovereign and I may not be able to see the big picture,
>and when at times I find myself yet asking and having a bit of a tantrum ,
>I pray he understands my desires, and draws me closer.
>
>I'll also study and take in consideration the wisdom of those who posted
>here as counsel too having similar wonderings yet with a different and open
>perspective.
>
>Brad
>