Must I forgive?
 
"Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. Judge not, and you will
not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and
you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you; good measure,
pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap.
For the measure you give will be the measure you get back." Luke 6:36-38

"That witch! I will never forgive her!" blurted Norma as tears streamed
down her face.

The person who Norma regarded as best friend had betrayed their
friendship, and this caused Norma enormous heart-break.

Years later, Norma was not only holding on to the same anger and
bitterness, but the refusal to forgive her former friend had also begun
to take a negative toll on her physical and emotional health, causing
Norma to suffer from depression, heart-palpatations and ulcers. More
importantly, however, Norma's pastor had warned her about the spiritual
consequences of her refusal to forgive. "Norma," he said, "If you will
not forgive others, God will not forgive you. If you want God to be
merciful with you, then you must be willing to show mercy to others."

Norma was slow to accept this truth because she believed that people can
only forgive those who directly ask for forgiveness, and Norma's former
friend had never approached her or ever indicated she wished for such
mercy to be shown to her. As such, the pain and hurt which Norma carried
with her, and which expressed itself in anger and bitterness continued
to grow with each passing year of her life.

My dear friends, forgiveness is not something we only do for others, or
even because it is the right thing to do according to God's sight.
Forgiveness is also a gift of love to ourselves.

Contrary to what Norma believed, forgiveness does not necessarily have
to mean a relationship with those who our forgiveness is directed
toward. One mother of a murdered child told her daughter's attacker on
the day of his trial and conviction that she forgave him, and that she
will trust God to deal with Him justly, for she refused to allow his act
of murderous aggression destroy her as well.

This mother understood that issuing forgiveness does not suggest the act
is somehow okay or not severe. Issuing forgiveness is like saying, "Yes,
you have sinned, but I am also aware that I too have sinned within my
life. Yes, what happened was very hurtful, but carrying that pain with
me for the rest of my life will hurt me even more." In other words,
forgiveness is a positive step forward, and whose message is, "I want to
move forward and not be stuck in the destructive mire."

Has someone hurt you?

Love yourself and God enough to say good-bye to past pain, anger, hurt
and bitterness, and hello to the peace and serenity only forgiveness can
provide.

"Heavenly Father, please help me to be strong enough to see through my
pain so that I can forgive others the way you have forgiven me with my
own transgressions. Help me to be merciful to others, the way you, dear
God, have been with me. Come in to my heart, God, and show me your love
and grace. This I ask in the name of Your son, Jesus Christ. Amen."