Kathy,

As I've read through the various posts, I feel as though I've sort of
caught up on Chris and your family sagas, and nothing seems any easier.

However, I really do believe that the *only* thing you can do now is to
place him into God's hands and leave him there while you just quietly
trust in God!  Yes, that sounds hard and from one who doesn't have
children of her own, but the Lord had to teach me this lesson about my
niece who, as many will remember, just took and took and took, always
promising to give back but never quite making it.  Well, finally I got
the message that I must stop trying to force her into making right
decisions and leave her to make her own.  After all, she's old enough
now and I can well do without the hassle.  Now, instead of talking and
almost pleading - and maybe nagging her - I simply just have to pray!

I believe that's where trust comes in!


--
Carol
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-----Original Message-----
From: Echurch-USA The Electronic Church
[mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Kathy Du Bois
Sent: 23 August 2004 19:37
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: My son Chris.


Thank you Vinny for asking.  God has been gracious to our family by
helping us to keep Chris busy this summer and that has reduced the
strain on our family a great deal.  In June, he landed a job at a
convenience store, doing odd jobs for the owner and that takes up about
25 hours a week.  He took one summer school class in July, that he had
to pay for and that kept him busy in the mornings for a time as well.
He started out doing really well, but as soon as he was pretty sure that
he would pass the class he started lapsing into old patterns of laziness
and ended up passing with a D.  Of course, we, his parents, were
disappointed since Chris had demonstrated that he was capable of doing
much better, but we're learning the hard way that you can't make a child
care, no matter how wise that would be.  He continues to have angry
outbursts, but they are much less frequent and much more controlled so I
guess that that is a big step forward.  I still seem to be the main
person that he flares up at, but then, we can also hug and I've told him
that as long as we can do that, we'll get through the rest.  Chris
agrees.
        Chris has earned enough money to pay for drivers Ed. and he will
begin that this Wednesday.  He wants to keep his job.  Money is more
important than academics right now and we're considering just letting
him roll with it rather than fight him on it.  He knows what is more
important really, but he doesn't want to do the right thing so we're
thinking of taking Dr. Kevin Leman's advice and let Chris learn through
natural consequences of his choices.  It might sound kind of wimpy on
our part, but some day, he's going to wake up and regret chasing the
wrong things.  We all do eventually, especially if God's hand is upon
our lives, and I believe firmly that, whether Chris knows it or not, he
is firmly held in God's grasp.  I trust that God knows what He is doing.
        Perhaps the hardest time for me this summer with Chris is when
my oldest son, Matt, left for college.  Matt left Maine for Michigan the
first of August to look for work before school starts.  I had a real
hard time with his leaving, but harder still was chris's attitude of
being thrilled to finally have a room to himself and he just started
pitching out Matt's stuff and I had to go through it and try to salvage
it before it got lost or damaged.  Chris was in the type of mood where,
if I cried he would have blown up and I really had to hold it together
to make it through.  Of course, knowing that Matt still hasn't found
work has been real agony for me because I know how hard he's trying and
Chris seems to be totally oblivious to his older brother's struggles.
Chris could be bluffing.  He does try to be the tough guy, but I just
find the bluster hard to handle at times.
        Well Vinny, I guess that that catches you up on chris.  Again,
thanks for asking, and for praying.  I really appreciate it very much!
Kathy

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