Phil,
The devil wants you!  He is doing his best to wear you down.  He is trying 
every possible way to drive a wedge between you and the Lord and is using 
Gretchen to be the wedge.  I pray God's peac to you and for strength for you 
to make the decision no matter how hard it may be to make and regardless of 
what you might want to do.  God will lead you!

Ned