Phil,
         Your messages always leave me wishing that there were 
something that I could do or say to make everything better.  As you 
know, however, that isn't possible.
           You know, it was amazing to me to see how well Chris 
responded to being in juvinile detension.  It's sad, but it was like 
he was just so glad that someone else was finally in control.  I 
mean, he was a model prisoner.  What a sad thing to be proud of.  Do 
you suppose that Gretchen may be a bit like that?  I mean, she did 
well while she was in a structured program a while back.  Do you 
think that it is possible that some people just can't handle their 
free will?  We're watching Chris just drift all over the board right 
now.  He knows what he should be doing, but he doesn't seem to have 
the internal will to make himself do what he knows is right.  While 
he fights against our structure, the truth is that he did, and does 
better under external structure than if left to his own 
devices.  Sadly, If Gretchen is like that, she may actually feel 
safer in some form of prison or holding system because she won't have 
to call the shots for her life for a while.
         Pardon my rambling.  I suppose you could say that I'm just 
thinking aloud.  I know that what I have said hasn't really helped at 
all.  Nothing can really take away this kind of pain.  I know it 
well.  I just keep praying for you guys.  I'm glad that the children 
are finding substitutes for her mothering  through you and Sandy and 
your son.  Some kids don't even have that, but I know that that 
knowledge doesn't really help you feel better either.
God's peace to you all,
Kathy

At 03:08 PM 3/16/2006, you wrote:
>Kathy,
>
>Frankly, I have come to the point that I don't believe Gretchen will
>straighten out unless she goes through the system and that includes prison.
>She lived the life when all her choices were Christian but she can't live in
>an open life style and stay clean.  It is so unfortunate for the children
>but it appears to me we are going to have to raise her children for her and
>without her eventually.  Of course, the 6 year old has his dad and his dad
>is super protective of him and very parental, too.  The 10 year old stays at
>my son's house all the time and is even getting his own bedroom so he likely
>will grow up there with my son and his family and with his grandparents here
>but a little more in the background, which is ok, too.  If Gretchen will
>follow through with prayer sessions, with me or someone else, she has a much
>greater chance of seeing the truth.  If not, she'll have to find it by
>herself and that will be the hard way, too.  I'm frankly just not very
>optimistic at this stage and will remain so until I see some action on her
>behalf.
>
>Phil.