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Hello List:

I've been on this list for 2 years now.  I love the list and feel that
it has been 90-95% of my source of information regarding celiac.  When I
first signed on the list, I just listened for about 6 months.  I soaked
in all the knowledge I could.  I had some questions, but  I was scared
off by some of the responses people would give.  I would read a summary
of someone that had asked questions.  Many of them would note something
that someone on the list said to them.  People can be very harsh.  So,
for the fear of what I might get if I asked the wrong question, I didn't
write for 6 months.  I am still, to this day, careful of what I write
for that same fact.

Now, mind you, I'm not made of glass and I won't break.  But, I worried
more what I might say to that person that would be willing to be so rude
to me on a list that's supposed to be helpful.

One personal experience:  I read an e-mail once where someone had asked
a very, very personal question.  It started a huge debate on the list.
Someone on our list told that person they should've never asked the
question.  For the first time, I responded.  I wrote that person and
kindly said that she shouldn't discourage people from asking questions.
Some questions do start a debate, which lasts a while.  And
appropriately, one of the list owners will put an end to it.  But that
debate will have at least made people think.  When I told the person
that I didn't think she should discourage that person from asking the
question, she told me that she had a degree in psychology and felt
qualified to write her e-mail the way she did.  So, we disagreed on that
subject.

I don't want to start a flood of e-mails on this subject.  I notice
there's been a few going on regarding accurate information.  I do
believe the information that people give should be backed up or stated
as an opinion and not fact.  However, this list is here for us.  It is
here to help everyone.  It is my belief that everyone on this list
should be able to ask whatever they feel like and not be ridiculed for
it.  I know of several former list members, former because of the
squabbles that go on.

I'll try not to babble but I'd like to end with these two thoughts:

1)  People, especially newcomers, may ask questions that the
"old-timers" may feel is ridiculous.  I think they should delete instead
of respond viciously.  The people that are writing these are
"newcomers".  When you're first diagnosed, your head spins for several
months.  It takes a while to get a grip on this new lifestyle.  So,
please just delete the message instead of saying something hurtful to
that newcomer.

2)  It took me several months to realize that manufacturers might know
that there product is gluten-free.  It didn't happen right away with
me.  I just thought I had to rely on the ingredients and if it had
something like modified food starch and I didn't know the source, then I
just couldn't have it.  So, be kind to those that ask if something is
gluten-free.  I believe that many of them aren't lazy, but it just
hasn't clicked that you can call the food companies.  When I made my
first call, I was shocked that this particular manufacturer had a gf
list.  From there it just multiplied.  I have a huge binder now of all
those that I called.  Remember, though, it took a while for me to figure
that out.

I won't babble anymore other than to say, that I hope this doesn't spawn
another debate.  I love this list, yet am always hurt for that person
that has to receive a rude e-mail from someone on our list.  I'm
embarrassed when that happens.  We're here to help each other.  If you
don't want to help, then just delete.  ;-)

Sidona/San Diego