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I got alot of replies over a couple of weeks, which is why the delay in summarizing. It seems that it is pretty much divided down the middle as far as people's feelings about eating in a Chinese resturant. Thanks for all the input; hopefully it will be helpful to everyone on the list. Here is what people wrote to me:

There is one Chinese restaurant in my neighborhood that I feel comfortable eating in (although I eat out very, very rarely - combination of limited budget and that lingering bit of doubt/concern that my meal will be gf). I always order the same thing ... steamed veggies. Additionally, because of other food intolerances/allergies, the steamed veggies are only bok choi and
broccoli. I don't, but know many people do, bring their own soy sauce. Besides these steamed veggies, I don't feel comfortable eating anything else in the restaurant. One thing I've found is key when eating in a Chinese restaurant is to make sure there is someone who understands English and can take  your order (unless, of course, you can speak Chinese).

I eat Chinese food often. The questions I ask are what is used to thicken sauces, wheat flour or cornstarch and, is MSG used. If there is any doubt I get a stir fry with no sauce or soy.Usually, I do OK, it all depends on the establishment. Hope that helps.

I eat dishes with white sauces only.  In addition, since I am usually watching my weight, I order the "diet" dishes which are steamed, such as chicken or shrimp with mixed vegetables, and have white sauce on the side with either brown or white rice, depending on what's available.  Some restaurants have rice noodle dishes but be aware that they must be delivered to the restaurant dehydrated. Fresh rice noodles are dusted with flour prior to shipping.  My local restaurant will make up just about anything and some will use your own GF soy sauce if you ask.

We eat regularly at a Chinese restaurant and it is Cantonese style cooking.We checked with them and all of their white sauces used cornstarch so we were able to order any chicken or shrimp dish made with the white sauce that the meat was not breaded.  The beef dishes with dark sauces all contained soy sauce which had wheat as an ingredient.  They would not substitute my GF soy sauce in their recipes for us.  We were also able to eat the Chinese vegetable soup safely. You really do need to question the staff carefully though as I believe that there are many styles of Chinese cooking.
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I've been to PF Chang's only. They have a GF menu on their website. 
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I get steamed veggies and rice. (Boring) Avoid the hot and sour soup as  it has soy. If you like Vietnamese or Thai, much of their  sauces/curries are fish based and are safe.
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The biggest problem I find is someone who speaks English well enough to understand my questions! I was once advised that I could safely eat things with "white" sauce as those do not contain soy sauce.  That also indicates that "fried rice" should be avoided, as well as foods with "noodles". Following this suggestion I have not had any problems with the food.
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My husband is the celiac in our family.  He was near death when diagnosed 15 years ago and he made a quick turnaround when he went on the gluten free diet so we must be doing something right.  Yes, he eats at Chinese restaurants and always orders Moo Goo Gai Pan.  I guess he must be afraid to venture out to something different. He never adds soy sauce to anything because almost always they use a brand that contains wheat.  No, we never ask for any thing to be specially prepared.  I guess we're not aggressive enough but both of us feel that it's our responsibility to watch closely what he orders rather than expect the rest of the world to cater to us.  That's not meant as a critical comment......just our personalities I guess. 

*Support summarization of posts, reply to the SENDER not the CELIAC List*