Nah, mace is one of the things that's not allowed (by civilians) in the
complex. Even if it did pass through the metal detector, I'd get fired on
the spot for possesion if the Commisioners found out. We don't have dogs,
and this guy, based on past behavior, wouldn't try to make a "silent"
entrance anyway. The cops brought us "police grade" foam CS/CO/capsaicin
foam spray. Even if he is enraged or doped up, his eyes will involuntarily
shut. This stuff is nasty!
Bottom line, I think I have the home and car situation under control. The
guy needs to know that he could get "acute lead poisoning" if he goes
ballistic in those two areas. The weakest link is where you would think it
would be the strongest--the courthouse. The guy is not on the absent list
today, but I've not seen him yet. I'm locking my office door and I am
coming and going in a group--for the time being. My strategy is not to
allow him the opportunity to get me alone.
I don't yet know what the EAP psych results were, but I'm going out of town
(Florida) March 23-April 8. Hopefully, things will come to a head while I'm
out of town.
I really appreciate everyone's concern and prayers. It seems like our
family has been under (almost) constant stress since '97 when Laura got dx'd
w/leukemia. Hoping this Florida trip taps the pressure cooker a bit. My dad
built a .50 cal single-shot rifle, so he and I are going to play with that.
He sent me a videotape of the thing turning watermelons into pink mist, so
that will be fun to vent some frustration <g>. Went to the family doc this
morning and the BP was 186/106--I need this time off reeeeeeal bad, know
what I'm sayin'?
I talked to the old man on the phone last night and he brought me down to
earth a bit. He said, "You think you're a ball of nerves now, but if you
'whack' this character it will be much worse for you emotionally." That was
good food for thought. He said that if confronted, I need to be up front
with him--tell him that his actions caused a lot of reaction on my end. He
also said to empathize with him like nobody's business. Let him know that I
know what its like to be frustrated, angry and hurt. He said that if I can
make him think I'm on his side--without letting my guard down--that he might
be less tempted to take his frustrations out on me and my family. His
illness is the enemy--not me. The positive side is that the guy
acknowledges he has a rage problem, so that's a good start. My dad finished
the conversation by saying, "Kyle, you've never physically hurt anyone.
I've killed people. Good people, defending what they thought was right.
True, it was a combat 'kill or be killed' situation, but it is still an
unbeleivable burden. My job as a sniper in the Corps was to kill, and
nothing else. When I would take out a North Korean or DRNV (Democratic
Republic of North Vietnam) officer, my spotter and I would always check the
body for relevant papers. You can't imagine what it's like to look at
pictures of the wife and kids of the man you just killed. Just keep that in
mind before you 'John Wayne' this guy." This was all pretty shocking for
me, because he almost never talked about the actual combat moments of his
tours. Very sobering. Made me pretty ashamed of all the macho "saber
rattling" shit I'd been talking. Still, if I put my family's lives and his
on a scale, he's gonna come up short.
I just wish I knew why this guy got me involved in this whole mess. Hell,
we work for the same agency, but in completely different departments!
Anyway, thanks again to you all for "listening". It's a damn site healthier
than chewing valium all day.
-K.
-----Original Message-----
From: Bobby G. Greer, Ph. D. [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
Sent: Wednesday, March 13, 2002 4:53 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: stressed out to 11, when the meter goes to 10
This is spooky Kyle. You do have dogs at home I hope. They are the best
alarm
system
as well as the best protection, if big enough. Can you get mace or something
in to your office.
Bobby
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