Denise,
I can offer a half-tongue in cheek attempt to explain this<grin>  You live
in south Florida, home of the "don't raise my taxes to pay for public
schools/ why isn't someone doing something about that rif-raf " crowd.  My
Dad lives in St. Lucie County and trust me, many seniors have become very
paranoid about young people in general.  They lock themselves up in little
trailer home parks with other seniors and talk about the good old days.
You remember those days don't you, when everyone knew their place in life,
lynchings, children being taken from their parents because of disabilities,
eugenics (forceable sterilization of unfit people), the Tuskegee Syphilis
trials on young blacks, etc.
A lot of people are wanting to move up here to Brevard from South Florida.
With support systems already overburdened with the folks here and no one
wanting to help pay, people start becoming very territorial.


Elizabeth Thiers, OTR
email: [log in to unmask]
homepage: http://www.bv.net/~john/bethsot1.html

----------
> From: Denise D. Goodman <[log in to unmask]>
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Advice request/Patriarch Privilege
> Date: Thursday, April 29, 1999 11:11 AM
>
> Vince, a belated, but heart-felt welcome to the list!   My name is
Denise,
> I'm 34 and also have spastic diplegia.  I remember when I first found a
cp
> support board on AOL, (from there, I found this list).   My entire life
> (except for pre-school) I'd not had much contact with anyone who was
> disabled.  I lived as what I've heard called, a "passer."
>
> Unconciously I avoided anybody who threatned my dillusional belief that I
> certainly was not one of "those" disabled people.  Once I hit 30, the
denial
> was harder to maintain.  My mobility was on the decline, and just like in
AA,
> I hit my disability "bottom."  I'll never forget the first time I posted.
 I
> felt like I was in recovery.  A disability "12 Step" program.  You know?
> "Hi, my name is Denise and I have cerbral palsy."  Anyway, I can
certainly
> relate to how important it is to discuss issues which affect your life,
with
> people who have actually "been there."  Which brings me to your advice
> request ....
>
> You said (in reference to your neighbors) "They're an older couple who
> apparently resent me for my handicap."  First, I think Stehpen Margolis,
gave
> some excellent information.  Personally, I wouldn't move.  Why should you
be
> forced to leave?  I'd make full use of the law.  After all, someone went
to
> the trouble of legislating these issues, best to make full use of any and
all
> legal recourse.
>
> Second, and I know this is going to sound bizzare, but over the past few
> years I've observed a strange phenomena.  I call it the Patriarch
Privilege.
> At first, I thought I was imagining things, but I'm telling you I really
> think there is some validity to my theory.  I'm use to people staring at
me
> in public.  Most gawking is just normal.  People who look at someone
because
> they are a little different.  Curiosity mostly, not malovence, EXCEPT for
> senior citizens.  I can park and disembark from a handicapp parking place
ten
> times.  Most people will look over, take brief notice that yes, I'm
disabled
> and have the right to park there.  End of story, EXCEPT if the person
happens
> to be a senior.  Yes, I know this sounds paranoid and strange, but I
swear, 8
> out of 10 times I park, if there are seniors around, they glare at me
with
> hatred!  Like "How dare I use 'Their' parking place!"
>
> I'm telling you it feels like a turf war.  I hate to generalize, but most
of
> the older people I've met have the attitude society "owes" them.  They
are
> entitled to certain privliages, just because they managed to live longer
than
> most.  It's almost as if certain seniors resent anybody who might have
access
> to the resources they feel are theirs alone.
>
> Vince stated one comment his neighbors made, "You sure know how to take
> advantage of the system."  I wonder?  Do these same people receive Social
> Security and Medicare?  Do these same people "take advantage" of senior
> discounts at the movies or restaurants?  I'd wager they themselves take
full
> advantage of "the system" which offers perks to the elderly.  Why is it
then,
> when someone else who has a legitimate claim to any special services, are
met
> with such resentment?  Do some seniors feel the disabled are dipping into
> "their" kitty?
>
> Like I said, it's just my personal observation, but I've felt the hateful
> glare of those seniors who seem to think I've encroached on the Patriarch
> Privilege. Anyway, Vince, I know this isn't any solution for your
problem.
> It's more like food for thought.  Sometimes, at least for me, it's easier
to
> maintain a good attitude in the face of discrimination, when I understand
why
> someone reacts to me in a negative way.  Of course your neighbors just
might
> be nasty old folks who don't like anybody :D  Whatever their reasons, try
and
> keep your spirits up!  I'm certain you've fought long and hard in your
life,
> no reason to give up and move now.  Sincerely- Denise and her long-winded
two
> cents!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>  The comfort I found from talking to others who had "experienced" the
same
> things I too had felt was of immeasurable help.