Linda, 

I couldn't agree more!  Even if the attendant isn't fired, the abuse
will continue, and if the attendant only files a complaint if she gets
fired, it might look like she's just lashing out because she's lost a
portion of her income.

Kendall 

An unreasonable man (but my wife says that's redundant!)

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all
progress depends on the unreasonable man.

-George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950


-----Original Message-----
From: Linda Walker [mailto:[log in to unmask]] 
Sent: Thursday, March 23, 2006 1:25 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: I need some more advice

she needs to just make a report and get some action started. IMO

At 11:39 AM 3/23/2006, you wrote:
>I forgot to mention, that our attendant told me, if the husband has the
gal
>fire her and she has proof of his involvement in the decision, she'll
be
>going to social services.  She couldn't just walk away without doing
>something.
>
>Thanks,
>Anthony
>Visit my website at www.anthonyarnold.net
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Cerebral Palsy List [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf
Of
>Anthony Arnold
>Sent: Thursday, March 23, 2006 1:21 PM
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: I need some more advice
>
>Unfortunately in this case, our attendant is self-employed, but my
friend
>receives the money to pay her through a agency, and the attendant
doesn't
>know whether or not she should go back to this agency and report this.
But
>being that we're in North Dakota and a small enough town, she knows
several
>social workers and law enforcement.  The positive thing was that this
>morning the gal finally agreed to call the priest, I don't know him
>personally, but I have a lot of respect for him, he should be able to
advise
>her.
>
>I'm sure this is something everybody on the list relates to, I know I
do
>personally, but due to her cerebral palsy and the physical challenges
she
>has to face, she feels if they have to divorce, she might not find a
mate
>again, making putting up with the bad treatment worthwhile.  If the
priest
>does nothing else, I would hope he can tell her this isn't worth it.
>
>Thanks,
>Anthony
>Visit my website at www.anthonyarnold.net
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Cerebral Palsy List [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf
Of
>Elizabeth Thiers
>Sent: Thursday, March 23, 2006 6:32 AM
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: I need some more advice
>
>Does your attendant work for a company or on her own?  If she works for
a
>company, she needs to report him to her boss.  Or she needs to inform
the
>case manager of whoever is paying her.  Her family needs to go visit
her
>often, to check on how she is doing.  Your friend needs to understand
that
>her daughter isn't going to be taken away from her unless she stays in
an
>abusive relationship.  Give her that out, and then also support.
>The attendant also needs to talk to your friend and let her know what
is
>going on.
>Very sad situation.
>
>Beth t. the OT
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Cerebral Palsy List [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf
Of
>Anthony Arnold
>Sent: Wednesday, March 22, 2006 7:51 PM
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: I need some more advice
>
>Friends,
>
>
>
>I'm sure you remember my posting a couple of weeks ago concerning my
friend
>with cerebral palsy whose husband is verbally abusive and doesn't help
her
>with anything.  I'm not sure if you know that I also have the same
attendant
>as this gal, and this morning the attendant was at this couple's house
>before coming to mine, and the attendant was told to leave or the
husband is
>getting a restraining order against her.  I know that I'm a very
intelligent
>guy, who shouldn't be asking this because I feel it's basic common
sense,,
>but does he have any grounds to do this action?  I have personally had
this
>attendant for almost 5 years, and haven't had any problems which might
lead
>to this action.  Sure when the daughter is home from school, the
attendant
>talks to her, but I don't see any problems with that especially when my
>friend is right there.
>
>
>
>Thanks,
>
>Anthony
>
>Visit my website at  <http://www.anthonyarnold.net>
www.anthonyarnold.net
>
>