Whenever I have a argument with my husband I start twitching with my face.
He gets very mad and many times he says stop that. Many times the twitching
is a result of not wanting to express my thoughts at that particular moment.
As with all disputes the behaviour becomes circular: You did this, I did
that. The problem or dispute doesn't get solved.

Joyce

-----Original Message-----
From: Paul Villano <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]>
Date: Monday, February 08, 1999 11:05 AM
Subject: Re: Embarrassing CP quirks (TEMPER TANTRUMS)


>Fiona and others:  When you're having your temper tantrums, is there
>anything anyone else can do to help?
>
>I don't remember whether I posted this to the list before or if Fiona saw
it
>at that time. I don't have CP but am disabled and an advocate for
disability
>rights (which is why I'm on the list, to find out more about CP).  I also
>had a serious relationship with a woman who had CP.  We broke up because of
>exactly the thing Fiona mentioned, severe temper tantrums (on her part).
>She would become very violent and abusive to herself, screaming, pulling
her
>hair, biting herself, scratching herself, etc.  When I tried to stop her,
>she'd start hitting and biting me.  If I was out of range, she would throw
>things and ended up hitting me with heavier and heavier objects to the
point
>where it was becoming dangerous for both of us.  (I learned later that
she'd
>been this way since childhood but her parents tried to hide the behavior
and
>excused it because of her CP.  You know, the old "Who can blame her, the
>poor 'crippled' girl!" routine.)
>
>She went to all kinds of doctors to find out what it was.  Some blamed it
on
>the CP, others blamed it on her past.  Basically nobody really knew and
>everyone was guessing.  Because I had such a low opinion of myself, I
blamed
>myself for not being able to help her and thought she'd be better off
>without me, so I ended the relationship.
>
>Ironically, we both live in the same town now and I would like to rekindle
>the relationship (at least to make peace) but there was so much nasty stuff
>that happened when I tried to end the relationship that I'm nervous about
>contacting them again.  (I started it by getting outside parties involved
>and things just got worse and worse after that.  Her parents made the
>ugliness I started uglier and uglier.)
>
>I told my Sweetie that it would be fine if she wanted to break dishes or
get
>pillows and beat on them, etc. but that hitting herself or me (or any
living
>thing) was out.  But she just didn't seem to be able to control it.
>Medication didn't help (and she was on all kinds of medication.)  I asked
>her how I could help and she said "Just love me through it."  I didn't know
>how to do that then but I think I have learned how since then.  Like I
said,
>though, I'm nervous about re-establishing contact.
>
>So if there is some hope of controlling these outbursts, I'd be very
anxious
>to hear how!!
>