Hi Denise,

        You know - I was a perfect baby, good little child, and my mother
wishes she had aborted me. My Amber  has CP and if I could die and give her
my brain so her body could function -if  I could. It never bother me to
watch her - In fact I tend to view normal kids strangely because Amber is
normal to me. I think it would behoove us all to learn normal is what any
given individual is. Other wise we would all be little unisex, vanilla
eating, hairless, monotone clones. I am sorry your Mom was thoughtless and
mean. Its nothing to do with your body and everything to do with her brain.
I tend to view my mother as a perfect lesson in how not to mother. Have you
ever tried to show someone how to do something and made a mess and then
laughed it off with - Now that I've shown you what not to do! Guess it works
on Cosmic level too!! Yes, ( sometimes) I feel like Amber CP is my fault -
hence she owned all the toys in Toys R Us when she was younger. Is it? To
quote Caine - I_do_not_know. Compounding by it acting like an ass -certainly
doesn't seem like an effect means of dealing with it. I recognize my mother
is just a person - we tend to deify the idea of Mother - and then feel
cheated when they turn out to be human. I found it much easier to deal with
my mother and her anger when I thought about her life and how it must have
affected her - Being a World War II participant, having an illegimate brat.
One of the most eye opening things anyone said to me was - when I thought I
was loosing when Amber was little and took myself to a therapist and she
said each time Amber reached age where I had been traumatised - I would rego
thru the trauma. My Mom must have done the same thing and that why she
resents my life and thinks I derserve all the bad things that have happened
and derserve many more. Poor Mama. Now, as much as I walk around in my and
everyone else's shoes you'd think I would be skinny as a rail!! LOL

                             Hugs to You
                                    Trisha



>I'd like to personally thank you Lawrence, for your candid response.  I
guess
>I just didn't stop to think about the painfully feelings this subject could
>evoke for many of us. My own mother told me many times that it, "Makes my
>stomach turn to watch you walk."  I grew up feeling sub-standard,
defective,
>and often, sub-human.  As an adult I've learned accept much of what my mom
>said in anger and guilt.  I've never once felt the world or I would have
been
>better place if I'd been "offed" at birth.  Hey, being disabled is no
>pick-nick, but I too like Lawrence, "... don't feel my disability has taken
>away from my guality of life" .
>
>For the record, "... i'm not one of those pissed off gimps that sits home
>feeling sorry for myself." either.  Oh, I do have a small pity party once
or
>twice a year, but I'm a good guest.  After the "fun",  I know when it's
time
>to leave the party :D
>
>Actually, my mom and I have made great strides in building a new
>relationship.  I think the real progress began when she got up the nerve to
>ask, "Do you blame me?"  I think much of a parent's anger or restentment
>comes from harboring a secret guilt that they are somehow at fault for the
>condition of their child.  Just a guess, I'm not a parent.  Anyway, I
realize
>now this is an uncomfortable topic.
>
>Third:  I implied there might have been more posts relative to this topic.
>BOY, have there been some dozies.  However, I think the original issue is
>becoming clouded somewhat by the ageless debate.  It is pointless, and in
my
>opinion, not appropriate to take up sides of the "abortion" issue here on
>this list.  Everyone here has a stead-fast opinion on the subject, and it
is
>your right as an American (for those of us in the USA) to have and voice
your
>views.  However, no amount of debate will change the mind of anyone else.
I
>don't think great numbers are "on the fence" when it comes to Pro-Choice
and
>Pro-Life.  So I beleive it would be prudent not to even start "debating"
that
>voliatle subject at all.
>
>As I understood it, the infanticide in question isn't just reserved for
those
>inutero, but also for those already born.  The crux of the problem is the
>infanticide is being relegated to those with disabilites.  I'll have a
better
>understanding after I research the sites provided by Ms. Theirs.  Take
Care,
>Be Well, & Stay Informed!  - Denise.