>In a message dated 11/09/1999 11:23:48 AM Eastern Standard Time,
>[log in to unmask] writes:
>
><<
> I have personally had two periods of depression in my life. One
> lasted for about two and a half years and I did not recognize it. I had
> trouble sleeping and I have no zest for life. I hated my job and my life.
> It felt like I was wading in wet cement, just to get through the day. I
> tried one antidepressant and it made a zombie of me. I just "grew" out of
> that one. It was in 1979-1982.
> The other one, around 1995-96 was short and was related to about 8
> people close to me dying in a short period of time. I really think I
> "talked" myself into that one because I felt it was the "thing to so". I
> tried an SSRI with disastrous results. Now, my wife thinks I am mildly
> depressed most of the time. I think I just don't have the energy I used to.
> I do not really see any of this being related directly to CP, but to the
> normal phases of life.
> >>
>
>Hard to know. The older we get, the less energy we seem to have. I guess
>there can be depression in that too, if it bothers you.
>
>I have a fire department experience, but it doesn't have anything to do with
>disability stuff:
>During my time in the fire service, we had three teenager suicide attempts
>within a month's time. I was on two of the calls and directly involved in
>both. One of those teenagers did not survive the attempt. In that era of my
>life, I took an avid interest in what is called "critical incidence stress,"
>which is a term used to describe the kind of psychological stress that can
>happen to emergency service personnel. Calls involving children are supposed
>to have the greatest impact (highly believable). I always wondered if those
>particular calls affected me in ways that I didn't realize. I don't think
>I'm depressed about it, but I know I think about them a lot more than the
>other calls I ran.
>
>I was thinking about one of the calls about a month ago. It was the one that
>the teenager died. I'm sure it was triggered by a recent telephone
>conversation with an old firefighting buddy. The weird thing was that I ran
>a kind of a "memory tape" from beginning to end of the call -- every detail
>that I remembered -- the sounds, things people said and did. I was so into
>that memory that I completely blanked out of the here and now. And it was so
>vivid!!! Then I looked up at my computer monitor and was actually startled.
>It was such a profound memory that I was startled by it! I didn't
>consciously try to remember it either -- it just happened. I don't think I'm
>depressed by it, but I'm still a little astounded by the impact of it. This
>is not the first time this has happened, and each time it does I'm startled
>again by the power it seems to have. It doesn't happen often at all though.
>
>I remember Trisha talking about a flashback, and now this reminds me of her
>comment.
>
>Betty
Betty,
I have had some training in "critical incident debriefing".
Basically, it consists of getting all the people involved in the incident,
emergency personnel and others, together to talk about what happen. The aim
of this is to prevent PTSD which is exactly what you experienced the day
you relived the incident. Debriefing gets everyone to talk about what they
saw, heard, felt and smelled during the incident. Then, you talk about the
emotions elicited. All of this immediate processing is supposed to allay
some of the PTSD occurences. I
have no idea if it works. Fortunately, I have never used it.
One of the deaths that hurts most is a close friend. We wrote plays
together and he fostered my creative outlet. He died a miserable death from
cancer of the liver. We wrote our last play a month before he died. When
the rest of us did the play, I would have flashed backs to writing the play
with Paul and laughing about some gallows humor we used. I still have not
written anything creative since he died. Sorry to get morbid. Also, Paul's
death coincided with the death of my dog, Maxx. I sure miss both of them!!
Bobby
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