I just read this at work and its a good thing nobody
is around because I just laughed my head off.  I come
from kind of a "redneck" family so I can really
relate.


--- "Kyle E. Cleveland" <[log in to unmask]>
wrote:
>  Straight from L.A. (Lower Alabama)
>
>  Collards is green,
>  my dog's name is Blue
>  and I'm so lucky
>  to have a sweet thang like you.
>  Yore hair is like cornsilk
>  a-flapping in the breeze.
>  Softer than Blue's
>  and without all them fleas.
>  You move like the bass,
>  which excite me in May.
>  You ain't got no scales
>  but I luv you anyway.
>  Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
>  jist a-fry'n in the pan.
>  Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
>  right out of the can.
>  You have some'a yore teeth,
>  for which I am proud;
>  I hold my head high
>  when we're in a crowd.
>  On special occasions,
>  when you shave under yore arms,
>  well, I'm in hawg heaven,
>  and awed by yore charms.
>  Still them fellers at work,
>  they all want to know,
>  what I did to deserve
>  such a purdy, young doe.
>  Like a good roll of duct tape
>  yo're there fer yore man,
>  to patch up life's troubles
>  and fix what you can.
>  Yo're as cute as a junebug
>  a-buzzin' overhead.
>  You ain't mean like those far ants
>  I found in my bed.
>  Cut from the best cloth
>  like a plaid flannel shirt,
>  you spark up my life
>  more than a fresh load of dirt.
>  When you hold me real tight
>  like a padded gunrack,
>  my life is complete;
>  Ain't nuttin' I lack.
>  Yore complexion, it's perfection,
>  like the best vinyl sidin'.
>  despite all the years,
>  yore age, it keeps hidin'.
>  Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
>  with a RC cold drank,
>  we go together
>  like a skunk goes with stank.
>  Some men, they buy chocolate
>  for Valentine's Day;
>  They git it at Wal-Mart,
>  it's romantic that way.
>  Some men git roses
>  on that special day
>  from the cooler at Kroger.
>  "That's impressive," I say.
>  Some men buy fine diamonds
>  from a flea market booth.
>  "Diamonds are forever,"
>  they explain, suave and couth.
>  But for this man, honey,
>  these won't do.
>  Cause yor'e too special,
>  you sweet thang you.
>  I got you a gift,
>  without taste nor odor,
>  more useful than diamonds...
>  IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!
>

=====
Bill Hyatt
"The shortest distance between two points is.....
 usually not accessible"
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