Dear Jan,

I just read your post.  I have been very busy lately with work and family,
and have not had much time to respond to e-mail.  However, having read your
letter, I have to say that I could not help but respond.  First, I can only
hope that, when they are grown, my kids will care about me as much as you
obviously care about your parents.

Second, your letter makes me wonder... is the extra money (over the SSI
$2,000 limit) worth having no life today?  Is it worth feeling lousy and
lonely and empty?  Would you rather get rid of it -- give it away, spend it
on a new wardrobe, blow it on beer and sub sandwiches with friends?  Is the
money worth it?  What will it do for you later?

This leads me to wonder.... How quickly will the money be gone if you are to
need it for medical costs, personal care, whatever later?  What are your
other options for personal care later -- after your parents are gone?

And... finally....  what about the rest of your life?  You say that you are
on summer vacation.  Does that mean you are in college the rest of the year?
Who handles your personal care when you are away?  What about
transportation?  Have you considered staying wherever it is you live during
the school year during summer?  Is that possible?  Perhaps an option for
next  summer?  What will you do after you graduate?  In college I lived with
another girl.  She had quadraplegia, and I was her PCA.  Truly, we became
best friends.  I ended up spending two summers with her in her hometown
during those college years and a third we spent at the University.  Is an
arrangement like this possible for you?

Finally, I would suggest you try and track down the nearest Independent
Living Center.  Certainly they must have some thoughts.... maybe...

Anyway, I know I have not solved your problems... but I do wish you the
best, and will remind you that summer will end soon enough!  :)

In freedom,

Jill Jacobs
-----Original Message-----
From: Jan Nottmeier <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]>
Date: Wednesday, August 18, 1999 11:31 PM
Subject: Problem I don't know how to handle


>Hi list members,
>
>this may take a little while to explain but here it goes.
>
>I live in Northwestern Georgia about 16 miles away from Chattanooga
>Tennessee.  I guess you could say I live far in the country.  I am not
>eligible for SSI.  I am not rich but my parents have put aside some
>money for me in the future  It is not much but it exceeds $2,000 the cut
>off point for receiving SSI.
>
>Since I am on summer vacation now, I have nothing to do and sit around
>the house most of the time.  The county where I live (Dade County,
>Georgia) does not have away of transporting me down to chattanooga, or
>anywhere else I want to go.  My vocational rehabilitation counselor has
>told me that if I were on SSI a neighboring county would transport me to
>chattanooga. Thus being able to access public transport in Chattanooga.
>This is causing me unhappiness (I believe it may be depression).
>Because I see young adults going places having fun.  While I sit around
>having no place to go trying my best to keep a positive attitude.  But
>that has grown increasingly difficult for me.
>
>I know my parents try there best.  They try to keep me as happy as
>possible and take to as many places as possible.  But it is limited
>because my parents are elderly and do not have the same interests as
>me.  For example they like gardening.  I do not know a thing about
>gardening thus I spend most of my time inside.  Don't get the wrong
>impression.  If I need something I can can always yell for them or go to
>them and they come and assist me in anyway they can.  I even talked to
>my parents about getting a trained dog for me to have a companion.  But
>they say it would be to much work for them.  It is just so fucking
>(sorry) hard to keep a positive attitude.  Sometimes I wish I was not
>educated.   Maybe then I would not realize what situation I am in.
>
>Earlier tonight I had an emotional outburst at my parents over this
>situation.  Which now makes me feel even worse.  I guess my question to
>you all is:  How do you all handle this problem?  Or what is the correct
>way to go about solving this?  I am sorry I didn't mean for this to turn
>into a long list of problems.   It is just I don't know how to go about
>solving them.  Any answers would greatly be appreciated.  Thanks in
>advance,
>
>Jan
>