I've seen a couple of posts that suggest that people with disabilities
need to prove that they deserve to be treated as adults. IMHO, since
people without disabilities are treated as adults without "proving"
their abilities, those of us with disabilities should not be held to a
different standard.
This may be a tough pill for some of our friends and family members to
swallow, but how many of our non-disabled siblings and friends had to
"prove" that they were "old enough" to not be treated as a child in
every are of their life? It seemed from watching my siblings that it
was a natural, evolutionary process that is often ignored in the case of
people with disabilities. There's a poster in the hallway at my office
that reads: "When you, see, meet, or think about a person with a
disability Presume Competence."
This is a link to the site where we got the poster. Check out the site,
as Cathy Snow has a lot of good stuff on it!
http://www.disabilityisnatural.com/
Kendall
An unreasonable man (but my wife says that's redundant!)
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all
progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950
-----Original Message-----
From: Linda Macaulay [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
Sent: Tuesday, April 04, 2006 11:16 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Babysitter Issue
KJ,
If it is family members and friends, TALK TO THEM DIRECTLY, especially
at
the moments when they talk to you/about you like you are a child. Nip
the
problem in the bud. Tell them clearly and firmly that you are an adult
and
do not appreciate being referred to as a baby and that using language
like
that hurts your feelings, makes you feel uncomfortable etc. If they
respect
you and care for you, they will think twice in the future about treating
you
this way.
But as others have said, you have to act like an adult to be treated
like
one. Handle this problem like an adult and they may realize you have
grown
up. Yes, people like to treat us like children sometimes and it is
often
the people closest to us that forget we are not little girls anymore,
but we
have to be the one to prove to them and remind them WE ARE NOT kids
anymore.
Believe me, my own mother often still gives me "advice" like I am a
child
(and I don't need the care and assistance you do) and I am expecting my
own
baby in a few weeks!
Linda
----- Original Message -----
From: "Kathy Pink" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, April 04, 2006 12:56 PM
Subject: Re: Babysitter Issue
> Kendall,
>
>
>
> Other people (family members, other friends). Would it be appropriate
to
> e-mail the people that are doing it?
>
>
>
> KJ
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>>From: Kendall David Corbett <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: Cerebral Palsy List <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: Re: Babysitter Issue
>>Date: Mon, 3 Apr 2006 11:48:09 -0600
>>
>>KJ,
>>
>>Are your attendants referring to themselves as your "babysitters," or
are
>>other people ("Friends," family members, etc.) referring to them that
way?
>>In either case, it's inappropriate, but if it's friends and/or family
>>members, it sounds like it's time to sit down with them and say "Look,
I'm
>>in my 30's. Thirty year olds, even with disabilities, may need help
with
>>some tasks, but that doesn't make us children!"
>>
>>My first job out of college was working for an agency that helped
people
>>with disabilities live independently. We had some employees who were
in
>>their 50's and early 60's, who referred to the people we worked with
as
>>kids, and I hated it! After I'd been working there about 6 months, I
got
>>the job of training coordinator, and one of the first things I did was
>>start training on the use of People First language, and treating
EVERYONE
>>in an age appropriate manner.
>>
>>One of the toughest groups to work with was family members of the
people
>>we
>>provided support to. But I told them that if I heard staff referring
to
>>their family member inappropriately, I'd have a "talk" with that staff
>>member, and it'd make things a lot easier for the staff if family
members
>>and friends used People First and age appropriate language.
>>
>>It didn't completely solve the problem, but it helped a lot!
>>
>>Kendall Corbett
>>Coordinator of Consumer Activities
>>Wyoming INstitute for Disabilities - WIND
>>College of Health Sciences
>>University of Wyoming
>>1000 E. University Avenue, Dept. 4298
>>Laramie, WY 82070
>>(307) 766-2853
>>[log in to unmask]
>>
>>
>>-----Original Message-----
>>From: Kathy Pink [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
>>Sent: Sunday, April 02, 2006 3:04 PM
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: Babysitter Issue
>>
>>For those of you that need assistance in dialy life, here's a question
for
>>you. . . Do other people in your kife,,, call them your baby-sitter?
>>
>>_________________________________________________________________
>>On the road to retirement? Check out MSN Life Events for advice on how
to
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>
> _________________________________________________________________
> On the road to retirement? Check out MSN Life Events for advice on how
to
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