An opportunity to unwind and have a laugh, I think.

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"Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel."

Part I

The following are reported to be actual stories provided by
travel agents:

- I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair
wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

- I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown.
I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to
make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts."
Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly
explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in
Africa." Her response ... click.

- A man called, furious about a Florida package we did.  I
asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando.  He
said he was expecting an ocean-view room.  I tried to
explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle
of the state.  He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the
map, and Florida is a very thin state."

- I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see
England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said, "But they
look so close on the map."

- Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in
Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had
a 1-hour lay-over in Dallas. When I asked him why he
wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big
airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to
save time."

- A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was
possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and
got into Chicago at 8:33am.  I tried to explain that
Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could
not understand the concept of time zones.  Finally, I
told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

- A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your
physical description on your bag so they know who's
luggage belongs to who?" I said,"No, why do you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline,
they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm
overweight, is there any connection?"  After putting her
on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" ( I was actually
laughing) I came back and explained the city code for
Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a
destination tag on her luggage.

"Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel."
Part II

 - A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii.
After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it
be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train
to Hawaii?"

- I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do
I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly
he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number
is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on
them."

- A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola
on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant
to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said,
"Yeah, whatever."

- A business man called and had a question about the
documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a
lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him
he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China
many times and never had to have one of those."  I
double checked and sure enough, his stay required a
visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to
China four times and every time they have accepted
my American Express."

- A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go
from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent
was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you
sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights
do you have?" replied the customer. After some
searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry,
ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the
country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere."
The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly.  Everyone
knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent
scoured a map of the state of New York and finally
offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's
it! I knew it was a big animal!"


--
Deri James