I know there are a number of people on this list that I know enjoy a good
pun.  Ok these aren't it but, you've been forewarned.  


Subject: silly puns 





Silly puns hopefully to smile about. 
 
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger; and then it hit me. 
> 
> * Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a 
> rest. 
> 
> * Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all 
> right now. 
> 
> * The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. 
> 
> * To write with a broken pencil is pointless. 
> 
> * When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate. 
> 
> * A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. 
> 
> * A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened 
> criminal. 
> 
> * Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking. 
> 
> * We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply. 
> 
> * When the smog lifts in Los Angeles,  U C L A. 
> 
> * The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on 
> it. 
> 
> * The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky 
> ground. 
> 
> * The dead batteries were given out free of charge. 
> 
> * If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory. 
> 
> * A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail. 
> 
> * A bicycle can't stand alone;  it is two tired. 
> 
> * The optometrist fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of 
> himself. 
>   [That's a story that lens itself.] 
> 
> * Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. 
> 
> * A backward poet writes inverse. 
> 
> * In a democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your Count

> that votes. 
> 
> * A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion. 
> 
> * With her marriage she got a new name and a dress. 
> 
> * Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A -flat 
> miner. 
> 
> * When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. 
> 
> * The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered. 
> 
> * A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum 
> Blownapart. 
> 
> * You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. 
> 
> * He broke into song because he couldn't find the key. 
> 
> * A boiled egg is hard to beat. 
> 
> * He had a photographic memory which was never developed. 
> 
> * His parents thought he was a budding genius, but he turned out to be a 
> blooming idiot. 
> 
> * A plateau is a high form of flattery. 
> 
> * When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall. 
> 
> * When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye. 
> 
> * Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis. 
> 
> * Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. 
> 
> * Acupuncture: a jab well done 
> 
 
 
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EarthLink Revolves Around You.
 




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