Not so funny!!

















Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunters/gatherers.  They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer
and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter. 
 
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer
and the invention of the wheel.  The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer.  These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were
the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: 
 

1.       Liberals 
2.       Conservatives. 
 
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so
while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented,
they just stayed close to the brewery.  That's how villages were formed. 
 
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night
while they were drinking beer. Their favourite hunting method was to burn the 
prairie and wait for woolly mamoths to stampede off the cliffs. This was the 
beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement. 

Other men realised that if you cared for the environment, looked after your 
animals, and planted fields, you did not have to chase over miles of prairie 
to kill dangerous animals for food, the food was right on your doorstep. This 
was the start of the Liberal Movement.

Although the fierce hunters enjoyed their life, it was lonely, days away from 
their women, having to go further and further to find a bit of prairie they 
hadn't burned. But this was the way their forefathers lived - this was "the 
Conservative way".

Meanwhile the liberal farmers soon discovered that if they all worked together 
and cooperated with each other, each specialising in things they were good 
at, they could provide more than enough food for the whole community. There 
was a surplus, they could start to do art, music, dance. If one of their 
community became sick or old, there was enough food for them to be looked 
after. They chose a donkey as a symbol to show that even the lowliest & 
dumbest creature was an important integral part of the community.

A hunter who became injured or too old to hunt lost status, he either had to 
beg for food, or sacrifice himself as bait to a sabre tooth tiger so that the 
clan could kill the tiger. He would then be revered as a "hero".

Of course, eventually all the prairie had been destroyed and the last woolly 
mammoth was killed, the proud hunters had to join the liberals. You would be 
wrong if you thought that was the end of the Conservatives, no, you can still 
see them, they're the ones who say "Why should I pay taxes to anyone 
else.", "Right to bear arms", "Survival of the fittest", "Clan/family/country 
comes first - fiddle sticks to the rest.", whilst benefitting from a world 
where only cooperation, altruism, and consideration is the only successful 
pattern for long term survival. Oh, and they still hanker after the woolly 
mammoth, but since they killed them all, the elephant is the closest thing.

Cheers

Deri

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