I agree with Bobby, Lori.  I think the best thing to do is have him belong to
a group of kids (or all boys) that are able-bodied and that also have
disabled members.  The reason?  To get your son to learn how to interact with
all kinds of people in the real world.

I was fortunate to be "mainstreamed" from Junior High on and even whilst in
elementary school (I went to a public school for disabled children in Los
Angeles County) my parents made sure I was in extracurricular activities with
able-bodied kids.  Thus  by the time I started a parochial school in the
seventh grade, I'd already learned to function at a mature level with all
levels of people.

Many year later,  I was a member of a disability advocacy group and was
appalled at the exhibitions of immature behavior I encountered.  It was
maddening to come against unrealistic expectations when trying to teach
people how to protect themselves or how to interview for jobs, etc. All too
often people had expectations of being hired just because they were disabled,
not because they were a good fit for the company they were trying to get a
job in.  Others expected their bosses to know what adaptive equipment they
needed without needing to tell anyone.  They didn't have enough experience in
communicating with the world at large to realise that communication is a
two-way street. Another problem I saw was that a lot of those who were
sheltered and only interacted with other disabled kids were too trusting -
they didn't know how to be wary and careful of others.  I am so glad my
parents didn't allow me to be too comfortable while growing up.  You need to
learn to put up with the bad as well as the good to survive.  It's called
"resilient intelligence," I believe, and there's "emotional intelligence" as
well.

Kat

On Sunday 02 January 2005 8:40 pm, [log in to unmask] wrote:

> Lori,
>
>     I have read some suggestions about having your son socializing with
> young persons with disabilities, This may work, but it may also have the
> opposite effect. I have seen such groups keep the maturity level down. Get
> advice from people in your area.
>
> Bobby