It being unanimously determined on Saturday, September 18, 1999, by those BP
preservationeers attending, and not determined by those not attending,
whereby they had pleaded lengthy and tiresome excuses of needing to visit
Beijing, not wishing to leave the tranquil environs of the frigid Yukon,
having to attend to their better-half's birthday, playing ball with the
children rather than Nintendo, wedged in a cave staring down chert chicken,
fleeing to Houston, being waylaid at Martha's Vineyard, working on Saturday,
enjoying the fall in Dresden, having forgotten the month, not reading any of
their BP mail warning of the impending historic event, or drying out from the
flood of the century, the most audacious BP pignic by all attended in fit
mind and  spirit it was therein enacted the Montclair Charter with provision
of re-enactment on a yearly cycle whereby the CHARTER is to be burned each
year and recomposed anew. Duly stated, restated, argued, examined, qualified,
re-examined, discussed, talked over around and about, explicated, revised,
edited and recorded as follows:

THE MONTCLAIR CHARTER
1. Derek is not allowed to hit the post.
2. The bacon is the sacrificial element of the shrimp.
3. You cannot leave until the apple is stuffed in your mouth.
4. Megan is always left holding the chicken.
5. Children, we need to get along with each other.
6. All not attending the pignic are hereby-designated officers of BP.
7. What's the twig on the topping-out for?
8. You cannot find vegetarian food in London.
9. When in doubt, refer to visual glossary on BP.
10. Lufa, the hedgehog, rules.

Shaman (not an officer of BP)

PS: attached is a graphic of the Charter Revision System... a modest
modification of a Reform Party voting booth -- will it be Bucannan, Ventura
or Trump?