SOS Gab & Eti 1.29

“Your advice to take two weeks off from the office and work on my house
was inspired.  It sure has improved my marital relationship.  Especially
getting the master bath finally finished; after all, it has been four
years since we moved in following the big rehab push.  I know that your
interests really fall into the area of historic loos, not so much this
modern water closet compartments business, but that's what my 1926 house
had when it was built, and therefore I cannot restore a loo.  But she
sure is shiny now, all those white porcelain fixtures, white tile
wainscot grout joints freshened up with grout colorant, original
fixtures replated with nickel, light fixtures polished and relaquered,
plaster patched, floor re-grouted, wood stripped and repainted.  Yep, we
have conquered the germ.” Leo Badkare, Hexed in Raleigh

Dear Mr. Badkare: Despite what you spouted it sounds like you got a
personal problem on your knees cause I can’t imagine you standing on
your hands all this time. I am glad as a freshly pollinated okra that
you took my advice and goofed off so you could finish what you started
as much as I hate it when people don’t flush and I’m sure you did make
your wife extra happy for two weeks. It is a lot more than what I have
not been able to do on my knees. We got us a modern water closet like
you say you gots but we have to avoid flushing it with the handle for
fear that Buck will get wet in the basement and so we uses a bucket of
water from Jane’s creek instead. If you needs a loo to restore, now that
you got practice on that modern stuff let me know and I will ship you
one down your way. We got ones that be “Hurry” Kana tested. Jeff Kana is
a big guy that used to work for Consumer’s Reports as a test dummy back
before they went hi-tech. We like using Kana cause he saves up energy to
quickly jump into the biffie and bust through the seats on the flimsy
models which makes life safer for the rest of us that can hold it
longer.

But back on your knees! I’m happy they is now shiny with the white tile
wainscot grout joints freshened up with grout colorant but I am curious
where you got such a hideous color. Obviously you were not using any of
our “Gab & Eti Grout Colorants”. Gab & Eti Grout Colorants are the best
‘cause we had Ralph Loren spit them. Yep, that’s right, Ralphy stopped
at the Bullamanka Kum & Chaw, our quick-stop tobakky and sex toy shop
where you can buy the World News with a latex wrapper and he spit out
his strawberry sunset chaw right there on the tile floor where it
stained the grout colorant kind of brownish. I’m glad she is shiny now
but I’m curious how you got your wife to agree to hold all them white
porcelain fixtures. Annalee Wintergreen would not put up with you for
twelve seconds. I imagine the wood stripping must have hurt, she must
love you very much to endure such torments.

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][<en Follett
SOS Gab & Eti -- http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/5836