Kens real Indians brought up a recent incident uprising for me


War and Peace

Peanut lucked out on this one;
 I attended a "Historic village" to help a friend do some masonry
evaluations;

Upon leaving we passed through the gift shop; a crakerbarrel affair of nick
knacks , what-nots and bad chineese manufactured  bric a brac ; all this
complete with a bemused  grandpa  dummy sitting outdoors in a rocking chair
with a  rubber face saying Howdy"  sporting ill  fitting overalls

My friend who is a dentist in real life; was feeling magnanimous;
Take anything you want " he said waving his hand like a Caesar in front of
his harem...."Anything"
          Lets see there was a cache  of Japanese action toys with alot of
dumb moving parts ;
post cards that showed the Alabama highway; cheap kids books about squirrels
and  snakes not of this region; and as Im in the biz (so to speak); a host of
 pet rocks I already had.

I  was feeling a little sad that here I was in this saw dust floor emporium;
with just about every cheap bell and whistle; even the fake throw -up
......and there was... Nutt-in...
....I mean ....ZIP ...... that I wanted

Until I saw ...Her

Yes there she was ; a Cherokee maiden complete with braids and high cheek
bones .
Tan and lovely;
 I'd say a circa 1950's   mannequin  head sporting,  a perfectly  hideous
dayglow war bonnet in cheap yellow and purple feathers.
I pounced.....
He winced.... The head had to stay...
.Waddayamean ? whats this about  anything ?

Back and forth we went upping the emotional ante with cheap insults and
clumsy dollar amounts  like two lower east side plumbing salesmen in a
Yiddish  kabuki dance of  grimace.and rude gesture.

In the end all I got was  the war bonnet however  complete with the rubber
tomahawk wich peanut now brandishes  on all uncooperative  children and their
  unsuspecting parents.

This of course has recently resulted in a few time outs; and the usual angry
statements   from concerned parents whos knees have been skinned alive with
said tomahawk during her "ghost dance ritual which unexpectantly  goes into a
 frenzy at the mention of " bed time."
Case in point
 "Oh she will grow out of it "      I explain incredulously to a neighbor
woman who is looking at me with clenched fists and torn stocking hose; a
victim of  this evenings  latest hallway  attack.
"Children have such great imaginations; don't they?
 I said gingerly manhandling Peanut into her room  and slamming the door
quickly behind her.
 "The little darlings" I carry on
"Just what would we do without them"
"Now come again sometime and bring that  husband of yours"

I close the door on her and let the war drums from Peanuts room play
themselves out amid screams and  war crys until certain signs and  smoke
signals  indicate its an ok to come in and negotiate.

I enter quietly with offerings of peace and justice  but If this Iraqi war
has taught me anything its to watch out for  booby traps.

All quiet ......too quiet I think .......I tip toe forward into the darkened
room amid  a sea of stuffed animals  taking the point guard ...
Just like on military T.V  Im.looking left, right  and up and down as if
perhaps the changing table and all its unpleasantness might somehow be rigged
to fall on me...
Its ...all.... too..... quiet
 I switch on the light.....there she is ...war bonnet on ...asleep with butt
up in the air and clutching the tomahawk.
I quickly disarm her and get her ready for bed explaining to her groggy
pudding head that we can have no more weapons of mass consternation  and get
her to swear  to statements of fidelity in a series of non aggression pacts
with Da-Da .
Agreed ,we brush tooofys and put out the light knowing that if peace comes;
Real peace
it will be through disbarment and mutuall agreement   and a good nights sleep.
Pyrate

--
To terminate puerile preservation prattling among pals and the
uncoffee-ed, or to change your settings, go to:
<http://maelstrom.stjohns.edu/archives/bullamanka-pinheads.html>