Blue Porch lovers unite..throw off the yoke of yankee meddeling into the
southern design history..
..yankees don't have mud daubers; in fact in Hoboken (next to joisey city
home of humorless czar) we thought mud daubers were tuck pointers;
after 15 yrs of "elite" education in Gotham ;.
.I returned to my beloved ancestorial home here in the buccolic paradise of
pea patch.
As I gaze out along the lower 40 acres of cotton ,"bacca", and bass pond from
the decaying charm of my turn of century  gallerie (coon ass for raised
porch)
I watch these pesky devils(mud dauber and red wasp) continously probe for a
home in my blue porch ceiling;
they ply the ceiling back and forth in tag team unison,
 like Alaskan 49ers staking a claim in the rich shade fields of the tounge
and groove of the heart pine of the ceiling they leap frog in search.
but it is not to be.
We all know "down hair"  it is  the shade and porch cover that protects them
from the elements
that makes them  a natural habitate to nest in so they can snooze and while
away the hours during the heat of the day
Like finding apartment space ceiling space is their  "reason de ete"

My old hammock desires these same necesseties;as does my pitcher of iced
lemonade ...so ...the competition is fierce.
 I tried sharing but wasps are imperialistic and the "daubers" are just plain
communist in their approach to  liebestraum..
so to ease border tension; and do away with racial gerrymandering  I have
painted  the ceilings  blue ..not a yankee blue mind you ......but sky blue
(with a little confederate grey thrown in )
 TEST RESULTS..the blue...Really... does throw them off; observations from
the hammock clearly show no adaptive re use of the blue by dauber or wasp
 After much searching the wasps finally  have found a disused conduit box to
make their nest in..and the  the daubers are happly behind the shutters as
...well.can we say ...shut ins ???
but the main result is they never made contact of a nest on the  the blue
ceiling paint This of course takes hours of study if not a weekend
..Now if any (approved) architects or testing agencies want to come an
independently test my hammock and lemonade revelations it requires the
following:
 ...shoes off.
..old Bessie Smith / Lewis Armstrong recordings..
.fly swatter (occasional)
 moon pies.(optional)
..steamy novel.(or approved alternative)
affected drawl.
..and a guitar for catterwalling.
Home owner to supply
 beverage;( I keeps a fridge on da porch)
gallerie.....(.porch)
 and ol hammock to swing in
.and yes ...cuspidor (optional)
P.s.no yankee wasps allowed.....Lost in pea patch