Exotic Qualities of Parrot Guano Insta-Stucco

You can spray it, you can display it, you can lick it (Disclaimer: we take no
responsibility for heart worms, viral infections or spongey brain tissue),
you can stick it in shady places. Nifty teflon dispensers. Works like Tiger
Balm on naked eyeballs. You have to pay for it to be shipped from
Parrotville, TX. Ready for the fixer upper in all of us. Not sold at Home
Depot, not even found in the Gardening Section at Home Depot. You can ask her
but she won't tell. Martha Stewart won't give away for $200M her secret truth
about Parrot Guano Insta-Stucco -- mascara stretcher and coffee additive.
Right out of the plastic bucket you can spread it on masonry, bagels,
envelopes, linoleum floors, and biplane struts. Just like Yak butter. It
shrinks, it expands, colorfast, long lasting, beats Rockhard hands down and
can be used for protecting dangling lug nuts. Better than Dr. Bonner's
Castile soap. Sold by the ton, minimum orders. Not adulterated with bat
guano, wet chicken shit, cocaine or marigold petals. Will cut through
kryptonite. No fuss, no muss, hardens to a dullness that lasts an eternity.
Clarifies cloudy ale in one easy potion. Used by Bison, Elk and Civil War
Veterans. Instantly make your homely brownstone facade the rage of the histo
presto neighborhood in an irreversible stroke of the trowel! Useful for
entombing developers. Stand up and make a statement, order your shipment
today! As to color, have we got colors? Any color you want as long as it is
cerulean blue.

If you act quickly for three easy installments of $19.99 each we will ship
you for 0 days trail our infamous craftsperson's handbook, "Babar meets
Parrot Guano Insta-Stucco". A new title is printed every day, so hurry and
get in on the latest preservation craze!

3-D glasses sold separate.

Shaman