Ralph,

You need better table manners and I mind you to stop picking on my spelunker
friends.

][<en

>From: "Hilary L. Hopper" <[log in to unmask]>
>Subject: Re: Cricket friends
>
>Ralph! Sheesh! I have been taking none of this cave cricket stuff seriously.
>But this is too too much. My pal Dave Beiter eats cave crickets. We all LOVE
>cave crickets. People will leave a cave, discover that a hapless cc has
>hitched a ride on their gear, and will lovingly carry the cc back into its
>dark underground space. We have POSTERS on our WALLS of cave crickets. AND
>OTHER GREAT CAVE BIOTA.
>
>Let me tell you about the scientific research that has been done on finding
>out how far away from a cave entrance they will go to EAT. See, a lot of
>them live near cave entrances and go outside to eat (running a gauntlet of
>cricket-eating lizards, etc). These cave cricket researchers (of whom, I
>believe, there are two) dyed little piles of cat food red and green. They
>put the red piles 5 feet from the cave entrance, and the green piles, ten
>feet. They found, with all kinds of scientific complications of course, that
>the crickets will go not only five feet, but ten feet from the entrance for
>this colored cat food. So why dye it? HERE IS THE GROSS PART: Becos they can
>SEE THROUGH THE CRICKETS, and hence can determine how far the cricket went
>by what color their belly-parts are.
>
>In fact, I have written many an article for a caving newsletter named _The
>Cave Cricket Gazette_, official newsletter of a Nat'l Speleological Society
>grotto (chapter). So calm down! These little fellers are on the side of
>good, not evil!
>Hilary Lambert Hopper
>(no doubt echoed by pal Deb Bledsoul)
>
>At 11:50 PM 7/27/99 EDT, you wrote:
>>Mary,
>>
>>I've been stewing about this bug stuff all afternoon, and even though I may
>>have started it, it's becoming just too distasteful for a family website (or
>>whatever this agglomeration of Pinheads is).
>>
>>I was thinking about the likelihood that our Neanderthal ancestors moved out
>>of caves (and into prehistoric buildings?) to get the hell away from those
>>fucking bugs all over their ceilings, and how it's probably people like you
>>and Ken rooting around in caves that makes the goddam bugs live in our
>>basements and behind our baseboards.  So maybe you and Ken and your
>>spelunking friends might wanna consider staying the hell out of their caves,
>>and maybe the chert chickens would stay out of your basement--and the
>>travertine turkeys, obsidian ostriches, and dolomite dodos would stay the
>>hell out of my basement.  Just think about it, OK?
>>
>>And if all of you don't stop all this discussion of insects and buggery, I'm
>>going to tell you my true-life cockaroach story that'll make you long for
the
>>good old days when you couldn't think of anything more revolting than the
>>first time your cats puked up cricket parts on your grandmother's paisley
>>shawl.
>>
>>Get my drift?
>>
>>Hugs,
>>
>>Ralph