Mah Deah Colonel Davidson,

Just to set the record straight, Hoboken (pronounced "HO-bucken" by native
Jerseyans not including the undersigned) was too hoity-toity, high-class, and
expensive for your Humor Czar when he purchased the former Historic Residence
in Joisey City in 1977 for the huge sum of $4,400, cash money of the United
States.  Hoboken is no doubt still too hoity-toity and expensive, even 15
years after the Czarina relocated us from Moscow on the Hudson to
Yekaterinburg-on-the-Passaic.  So we don't live dere no more, but since we
didn't have a porch ceiling to paint blue (no porch ceiling on a stoop)
there, and the historic color here was stain, we don't have a blue porch
ceiling here, neither.

However, I am ever so pleased to learn that the Dogpatch Wasps are evidently
stupid and/or lazy enough to fall for the Yankee trick of convincing the
yokels down yonder to paint their porch ceilings blue,  swim in mudholes, and
 drink iced tea and lemonade in the summer and thus reduce consumer pressure
on Union beer supplies.

Y'all come back now, heah?

Ralph