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Subject:
Re: For new, deer-hunting parents ...
From:
Ralph Walter <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
BP - "Is this the list with all the ivy haters?"
Date:
Wed, 29 Dec 1999 19:24:34 EST
Content-Type:
text/plain
Parts/Attachments:
text/plain (20 lines) 
Mike,

Based upon my extensive research in the field, I have determined that there
are only three possible reasons why babies cry:

1.  Dirty diaper.  Verify condition and provide and install new as required.

2.  Baby is hungry.  Provide and install bottle. If accepts, continue. If
not, proceed to #3:

3.  Baby wants to be held.  Install baby in arms, perhaps rocking from side
to side     or other motion     as required, until calm.  I liked having them
lie stomach down    on my forearm.  They seemed to agree.

It's just like the 10 formulas in Physics 101-- One of them will work, and
lead you to the next problem.  Best of luck.  And the duel is off.  We have
better things for you to do now.

Ralph

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