SOS Gab & Eti 1.5

Another curiosity was Gab and Eti being contacted by the General Tom Thumb
National Historical Site.

It was unclear to us where this site is located, we could not see it on our
atlas. If anyone has further information, or a better magnifier (a pocket
microscope would be real nice right here), even a working phone number (You
would not believe what we got when we called the number we were given -- this
time it was not roto-rooter. Something more like a slow-massage by Bambi.),
then please let us know at your earliest conveyance.

Regardless, as you can probably imagine, the GTTNH claims to have the
official General Tom Thumb “South Sea Booth of Natural Repast and Eternal
Delight in Modern Sanitation and Gravitational Plumbing Science”.

The arrangement, mounted on a set of four small oak carriage wheels
(convenient to be pulled by a team of pre-milked Nubian goats), is fashioned
of a lightweight corn cob and oyster shell tabby (lightweight intentions?).
It stands roughly four feet in height and sports on the black walnut and
inlaid mahogany door a brass framed crescent moon window inset with a thin
sheet of violet mica. The flushing mechanism predates in design the modern
airliner commode. There is no singular receptacle for cigars. A small silver
panel on the interior, engraved in flowing script, advises the user to not
flush while the appliance is in motion and warns to wait for thunder mug to
be fully arranged. A small porcelain water tank, in the shape of a
cantaloupe, reposes on the roof to freshen a miniature sink within. There is
a quarter coin slot on the rear with an ingenious mechanism that activates a
diminutive spring-activated sliding door. Obviously this is one more of those
a money-making pranks foisted on the public by Mr. Thumb’s baronial patron.

The GTTNH also claims to have the world's largest collection of miniature
prophylactics.

The foundation has an immediate position open for an architectural
conservator versed in Hindu/Vedic astrology. All the more reason to find a
politically correct phone number and valid address.

Future fund raising plans of the GTTNH, going beyond the obligatory coffee
cups, T-shirts, and thimbles, include releasing a line of women's casual wear
-- Lavinia Warren's Secret. The lingerie will be directed to the ultra-petite
market. Mail order catalogs are expected to be released in spring of 1998.

This would be a perfect application for a retail website where scale in
clothing is politely obscured.

To be continued..... Eti’s new chicken coop.

Copyright 1997 Ken Follett
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