This is about as far off topic as you can get but I just couldn't resist.
I got it from an Alzheimer's Disease list so it was off topic there too.
Ruth





RALPH THE ROOSTER

A farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So, he
goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster that he
would sell.

The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great rooster, named Ralph.
He'll service every chicken you got, no problem."

Well, Ralph the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money, but the farmer
decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Ralph

The farmer takes Ralph home and sets him down in the barnyard, but first he
gave the rooster a pep talk. "I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a
lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money."

Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have
some fun," the farmer said, with a chuckle.

Ralph seems to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house and
Ralph takes off like a shot.

WHAM! Ralph nails every hen in the hen house - three or four times, and the
farmer is really shocked.

After that, the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen and, sure enough,
Ralph is in there.

Later, the farmer sees Ralph after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once
again - WHAM! He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Ralph out in the
fields chasing quail and pheasants.

The farmer is distraught and worried that his expensive rooster won't even
last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next
morning to find Ralph on his back out in the middle of the yard, mouth
open, tongue hanging out and both feet sticking straight up in the air.
Buzzards are circling overhead.

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal,
shakes his head and says, "Oh, Ralph, I told you to pace yourself. I tried
to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."

Ralph opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says,
"Shhhh! They're getting closer."

--
Ruth Barton
[log in to unmask]
Dummerston, VT

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