Just in case nobody else noticed it, I thought I should point out that our
so-called friend, the Gray Eminence, snuck in a favorable reference to the
evil Wisteria in his "column" on Sunday.  Some formerly 'scraggly" vine on E
64th street as seen a thousand years ago is now feeling quite robust, thank
you.   Well, I just thought that a person who holds himself out as a friend
of deteriorated brownstone and Enemy of the Dryvit is now propagating as well
as promoting Structivorous Plant Materials in the pages of the Newspaper of
Record!  What's next, you quizzling, you--a new song, "Ivory is a Garden
State Brickfacer's Best Friend"???  Huh?

All I can say is, you better watch the love apples when in Rome-- those
Spaghetti Benders can be pretty fond of their historic structures, and might
not appreciate a bunch of Colonials wandering around planting nasty,
innocent-looking vegetation designed to eat their monuments and make Cooper
Union look like a new car parked next to the Colosseum!   And be sure that
the tomatoes aren't road (or autostrada) apples.

Have  a lovely trip.  I hear Italy this time of year has all the charm of New
 York the past few days, except that there are more mustachioed women.

Your friend,

Ralph (Down with Vines) the Humorless Czar