SOS Gab & Eti 1.1

Considering the revisionist exploits of Bill and Ted in a phone booth, Gab
and Eti appear adamant in their belief that Al and Pete were time traveling
on a spiritual plane, though albeit tempered by the effluent sensorium and
that the overconsumption of boiled cabbage and baked beans would have
resulted in untethered eruptions of movement during their astral projection,
causing such objects, naturally as can be expected during any unexpected
thrusts into the cosmic void, to grasp more firmly to each other.

It is now conjectured, and reinforced by the archeologist brought in to
examine the coprolitic night soil, that the hole in the side of the unit may
have been the result of objects colliding during such violent projection.
There does not seem to be any more reasonable an explanation to fit the facts
of the scientific inquiry which has included a not-as-yet concluded series of
DNA testing. There is some evidence, in the form of petroglyphs resembling a
bird's foot placed within a circle, that the tailings may be ancestral in
origin. This would lead to a conclusion that the house was not in fact used
all that much by Al and Pete, but by some sort of composite Natural Man
comprising all of humanity draining-the-lizard and/or dumping-the-load within
the stuffy confines of one hot steamy convenience-hut on a long-ago summer
day while Dick Nixon sat nearby in the White House recontemplating his public
image. It should be remarked, possibly best at this time, that there was an
undersized man's glove found down the hole. There has been no reasonable
explanation for this unmatched fragment, though Gab and Eti were approached
by an unidentified party offering to do a video.

The fact that the hole may be of histrionic import brings an entirely
different perspective to the thought of repairing the hole, which intent lead
to the original inquiry; as Gab and Eti now find themselves constipated with
a conflict as to restoring the portable toilet to a period pre-dating common
use (distinct from uncommon use), with the requisite polishing to a factory
newness, or to remain true to what could have been, though for the present
admittedly a very obscure but possibly maybe a  most awesome rush in the
pot-modern era, otherwise known as the post-60's.

To be continued..... the Grand Gesture

Copyright 1997 Ken Follett
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