For anyone that has ever:

-Worked for the Federal Government
-Contracted with the Federal Government
-Known anybody that worked for the Federal Government
-Wondered at the ways of the Federal Government

Certain precedents have been discovered for the mayhem that occurs on or about
September 30th.

"The basis of practical time-reckoning was the Solar Calendar of 365 days <not
to be confused with the Fiscal Year>.  It is often referred to by meticulous
scholars as the "Vague Year" <frequently confused with the Fiscal Year,
especially by Congress> because the actual length of the solar year is almost a
quarter of a day longer, 365.2422 days by present calculations.  The Mayas were
not at all vague about it.  According to their observations the orbit of the sun
around the earth too 365.2420 days, closer than the 265.2425 days fixed by our
later Gregorian calendar.  Because of this difference we now intercalate one day
every fourth year, Leap Year, to keep our calendar in time with the sun.  The
Mayas were not concerned about the difference although they kept records of the
errors accumulated during the four thousand years since the projected beginnings
of their calendar.

They were more concerned with a year of 360 days corresponding to the 360
degrees in the circle or sphere, the "tun" or "haab", divided into eighteen
periods or months of twenty days each.  To this was added an extra period of
five unlucky days which they called the "Uayeb" and the Aztecs the "Nemontemi"
<known in the Federal Government as the Last Week of September>.  Each of the
months as well had its patron deity <insert name of politician>.

Of primary importance was the enmeshing of the Solar Year calendar of 365 days
with the Sacred Year calendar of 260 days.  Their relationship was based on the
least common multiple of the two, 19,890 days.  The first calendar was required
to make 52 revolutions and the second 73 revolutions before they coincided: 365
x 52 = 260 x 73 = 18,980 days . . .

This great cycle of fifty-two years was called the Calendar Round.  The Aztecs
believed that the world would be destroyed at the end of one of these cycles.
As one <Fiscal Year> ended, the people broke their cooking pots, lamented and
fasted.  When the calamity did not come on the last night, priests ascended to
the Temple on the mountain Huixactecatl, Mountain of the Star, sacrificed a
human victim <any suggestions?>, and kindled a new fire on his breast.  From
this, fire brands were carried to the great temple in Tenochtitlan and from
there to other temples.  From these householders in turn carried torches to
light new fires on their own hearths.  The Calendar Round . . . the Aztecs
called "Xiuhmolpilli", mark[s] its beginning with the symbol of a fire drill."

Frank Waters.  Mexico Mystique: The Coming Sixth World of Consciousness.
Swallow Press Inc., Chicago, IL  60605.  1975, pp226-227.

/signed/ Anno Dominatrix