On Fri, 17 Sep 1999, Ralph Walter wrote:

> There may have been a hidden message in the cornmeal.  The Czarina was
> advised by Environmentally Concerned Hebrews that the standard method
> of Tashlich (a Jewish ritual done on the New Year in which one
> symbolically casts away one's sins by throwing breadcrumbs in a moving
> body of water, which is immortalized annually in the Times with a
> photo of 10,000 Black Hats standing around down at the Battery) was
> ecologically incorrect....and the ecologically correct solution to
> this problem was to throw cornmeal (symbolizing the sins to be cast
> away) instead.

There is a recurring email message which I always get around this time of
year specifying the types of bread to be used.  Every year, the list gets
a little longer ...



---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Tue, 14 Sep 1999 23:20:49 -0400
Subject: Subject: Taschlich, a Jewish rite of purification at Rosh Hashanah


Here are instructions for a Jewish technique for self-purification.
Tashlich is done this year on the afternoon of the 2nd day of Rosh
Hashanah.

You go to a running body of water, it can be a stream, creek or river,
etc, and with a stone or crumbs of bread, you say a little prayer and
throw your misdeeds of the prior year, symbolized by the bread etc., into
the running water.

However, taking a few crumbs to Tashlich from whatever old bread is in the
house lacks subtlety, nuance, and religious sensitivity. Instead, this
coming Rosh Hashanah, consider these options:

>>   for ordinary sins, use white bread
>>   for exotic sins, French bread
>>   for particularly dark sins, Pumpernickel
>>   for complex sins, Multigrain
>>   for twisted sins, pretzels
>>   for tasteless sins, Rice cakes
>>   for sins of indecision, waffles
>>   for sins committed in haste, matzoth
>>   for sins committed in less than 18 minutes, Shmirat matzoth
>>   for sins of chutzpah, fresh bread
>>   for committing arson, toast
>>   for committing auto theft, caraway
>>   for being ill tempered, sourdough
>>   for silliness, nut bread
>>   for not giving full value, shortbread
>>   for Jingoism, Yankee Doodles
>>   for excessive use of irony, Rye bread
>>   for excessive use of irony with regard to the Old Soviet Union, Russian
rye
>>   for telling bad jokes, Corn bread
>>   for hardening our hearts, jelly doughnuts
>>   for being money hungry, Enriched bread or Raw dough
>>   for warmongering, Kaiser rolls
>>   for immodest dressing, Tarts
>>   for causing injury or damage to others, tortes
>>   for promiscuity, Hot buns
>>   for promiscuity with a Christian, Hot Cross Buns
>>   for racism, Crackers
>>   for sophisticated racism, Ritz crackers
>>   for divining off tune, Flat bread
>>   for being holier than Thou, bagels
>>   for unfairly upbraiding another, Challah
>>   for indecent photography, Cheese cake
>>   for trashing the environment, Dumplings
>>   for sins of laziness, Any very long loaf
>>   for sins of pride, Puff pastry
>>   for lying, Baked goods with Nutrasweet and Olestra
>>   for wearing tasteless hats, Tam tams
>>   for the sins of the righteous, Angel food cake
>>   for selling your soul, Devil's food cake
>>   for lust in your heart, Wonder bread
>>   for inhaling, Stoned wheat
>>
>>    Remember, you don't have to show your crumbs to anyone.
>>
>>And to all, L'shana Tova & a sweet and peaceful New Year