Your New Instruction Manual: an operating guide
By Craig Brown
Instructions made easy!
Congratulations on your choice of new instruction manual! Your new
instruction manual is one of the most sophisticated and
easy-to-use instruction manuals (NIM) currently on the market.
Please take the time to read this operating guide to your NIM. It
contains important information and notes regarding how to access
optimum performance from your instruction manual.
Easy-to-use page-by-page numbering
The pages in your new instruction manual (NIM) are clearly
numbered from 1-20 for easy reference. These useful numbers (UN)
can be readily found by accessing the bottom right-hand corner
(BRHC) of each page. Each page has been pre-allotted its own
number (ON) on a strictly sequential basis. For a full
trouble-shooting guide to UN on BRHC of NIM, consult your dealer.
WARNING: the page-numbering process does not begin on the cover or
inside cover, both of which have been left blank for your
convenience. The numbering process begins on the third page,
which is numbered one ('1') and continues through the fourth page
('2') and fifth page ('3'), right through to the twenty-second
page ('20').
IMPORTANT: neither the inside back cover nor back cover
(respectively, pages '23' and '24') are numbered.
NOTE: before exploring pagination, it is important to read the
section 'How to turn the pages of your new instruction manual'.
How to turn the pages of your New Instruction Manual
Turning the pages of your NIM has never been easier. They can be
turned both front-to-back (FTB) or back-to-front (BTF).
WARNING: do not attempt both these procedures at the same time.
For more advice on developing a systematic approach to the
standard procedure for page-turning (DASPPT), see Fig A.
Note to Fig A. (i) is owner's thumb; (ii) is owner's forefinger.
(i) and (ii) are located at the end of owner's right hand (iii).
(iv) is the page to be turned.
1) Select (iv)
2) Place (i) on the upper side of (iv)
3) Place (ii) on the lower side of (iv)
4) Squeeze (i) and (ii) gently together (IMPORTANT: to avoid
damage to page, do not apply undue pressure). Move (iii) six
inches (15 cm) in a leftward direction before releasing (i) and
(ii), having successfully completed the turning (iv).
ADDITIONAL WARNING: the page is highly inflammable. Do not place
the page you wish to turn, or any other pages, beside a
cigarette, pipe, gas-burner, electrical charger, hob, candle or
flame-thrower. For a full list of items that may fatally endanger
(FE) your full enjoyment of your instruction manual, turn
immediately to page 18 (located on the 20th page).
When your New Instruction Manual catches fire
In the unlikely event of your NIM catching fire, take the
following steps: i) Fetch a bucket ii) Turn on a tap iii) Fill
the bucket with water iv) Transport the water-filled bucket to a
position above your new instruction manual v) Pour bucket of
water over your new instruction manual.
IMPORTANT: for further information, turn to SECTION 39b, 'Turning
on a tap', and SECTION 73a, 'Enjoying your new bucket'.
Additional leaflet 7331BX, 'Job Opportunities in the Fire
Services', may be obtained from HMSO.
Selecting a language
Your new instruction manual (NIM) offers you a varied choice of
language opportunities to access to enable you to further your
comprehension.
Q. How do I select the language best suited to my needs?
A. When consulting your NIM, it is important to select those
sections of the manual written in a language with which you are
familiar. If you select those sections written in a language with
which you are unfamiliar, this may ruin your enjoyment of your
NIM. Those seeking to acquire a foreign language should enrol in
a college of further education for a two-year course before
embarking on unfamiliar sections of their NIM.
Connecting loudspeakers to your New Instruction Manual
It is inadvisable to connect loudspeakers to your NIM. Your NIM is
a booklet and, as such, is not wired for electricity. It is only
paper, so no sound will come from it.
If you hear a sound coming from your New Instruction
Manual
The sound is likely to be coming from a radio or television
positioned nearby. If it is more of a 'dripping' noise, it is
likely to be emerging from a tap in the cloakroom or kitchen.
(See above: How to turn off a tap).
Troubleshooting Problem: this operating guide to my new
instruction manual is far too long and complicated for me to
understand. What can I do?
Solution: consult our new booklet, Your Operating Guide to your
Instruction Manual Made Simpler - an Owner's Handbook.