Pat,

I used to think that if you did everything right, your kids would turn out 
right, and conversely, if your kids turned out right it was because you did 
everything right.  Of course, that was before I had kids and discovered that 
it's not entirely clear how all that works.  Now I know from experience that 
even if your advice is good, there's no guarantee that your kids will take 
it.  In fact, they may do exactly the opposite, for reasons that you may 
never understand.  If they follow the rebel path, which my daughter did to 
the max, the best you can hope for is that the school of hard knocks will 
teach them what you couldn't.  I'm happy to say that after many hard knocks, 
she's started to figure some things out.  Ironically, most of that has to do 
with her having kids of her own.  I guess that even though she didn't appear 
to be listening, she must have been.  If I'm really being fair, I have to 
say that I was pretty hard headed too, and had to figure out lots of things 
for myself.  Maybe that's ultimately true for all of us.

Steve

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Pat Byrne" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, May 31, 2013 23:02
Subject: Re: Children!!!


> Our daughter is like yours, Steve.  Grew up with two blind people and
> has been respectful and helpful when dealing with all people,
> particularly blind persons.  And it is somehow a natural comfort -
> guess we did something right, although it wasn't intentional.
> For that, and other things, we're damned proud of that kid, now 28
> and reeady to marry in September.  My wife's three other kids are
> likewise comfortable with blind folks.  We were married when the
> oldest was fifteen and the youngest ten.  My wife had been divorced
> from her sighted husband for several years before we met and married
> and her oldest told her that he didn't want her to marry a blind
> man.  She said she respected his opinion but was going to do it
> anyway!  Just before our wedding, he got my wife alone and said that
> he had decided that she and I should be married!  And more than
> thirty years later we all like and respect one another a lot.
> Enough from me - thanks all for reading.
> Pat, K9JAUAt 09:35 PM 5/31/2013, you wrote:
>>Yeah, that's pretty much the way I looked at it.  I think some people were
>>uncomfortable with her imitating us, but the bottom line is that we 
>>weren't
>>bothered by it.  Btw, both my kids were always very respectful and helpful
>>to other blind people, and not just our friends.  They accompanied us to 
>>an
>>ACB convention one year, and my son, who was ten at the time, spent much 
>>of
>>his time helping people get to where they wanted to go.  If he thought
>>someone was lost, he'd ask if they needed help, and if they did, he helped
>>them.  If they didn't want his help, he left them alone.  Sometimes, he'd
>>see that someone was trying to find something, and just tell them which 
>>way
>>to go.  Fortunately, he was not directionally challenged, so his 
>>directions
>>were helpful.
>>
>>Steve
>>
>>----- Original Message -----
>>From: "Colin McDonald" <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>Sent: Friday, May 31, 2013 20:29
>>Subject: Re: Children!!!
>>
>>
>> > yeh, but probably the same people who let their children scream and 
>> > throw
>> > huge fits in the middle of wallmart and give you the finger or a dirty
>> > look
>> > if you comment or look at them.
>> > Everyone is a super parent with other peoples kids haha.
>> > If I don't feel disrespected by my kid or someone elses, then there is 
>> > no
>> > problem.  I don't need other people to tell me or decide for me what I
>> > find
>> > disrespectful or not.
>> >
>> > 73
>> > Colin, V A6BKX
>> > ----- Original Message -----
>> > From: "Steve Dresser" <[log in to unmask]>
>> > To: <[log in to unmask]>
>> > Sent: Friday, May 31, 2013 3:15 PM
>> > Subject: Re: Children!!!
>> >
>> >
>> >> Howard,
>> >>
>> >> Your story about the cane reminds me of something my daughter did when
>> >> she
>> >> was about four.  She grabbed my cane and started racing around the 
>> >> house
>> >> moving it back and forth with one hand while covering one eye with the
>> >> other
>> >> hand and saying, "I'm blind, like Mommy and Daddy!"
>> >>
>> >> My wife and I thought it was funny, but you'd be surprised how many
>> >> people
>> >> told us we should reprimand her for being disrespectful.  We didn't 
>> >> think
>> >> it
>> >> was a lack of respect; she was just trying to understand what it was 
>> >> like
>> >> to
>> >> be blind.
>> >>
>> >> Steve
>> >>
>> >> ----- Original Message -----
>> >> From: "Howard Kaufman" <[log in to unmask]>
>> >> To: <[log in to unmask]>
>> >> Sent: Friday, May 31, 2013 12:11
>> >> Subject: Children!!!
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>> One day my eight year old daughter, said Daddy, open your mouth, I 
>> >>> have
>> >>> a
>> >>> surprise for you!  Well foolish trusting me did so, and got a 
>> >>> teaspoon
>> >>> of
>> >>> warm cottage cheese for my trust.  I have promised her that I will 
>> >>> tell
>> >>> that
>> >>> story at her wedding.  No wedding yet, not surprised.
>> >>>
>> >>> Don't expect children to be adults, and don't allow them to be your
>> >>> eyes,
>> >>> they will rebel sooner or later and they will have a powerful way to 
>> >>> do
>> >>> it.
>> >>>
>> >>> The other thing she did, was when we went for walks when she was 
>> >>> little,
>> >>> she
>> >>> had to carry and use her own cane.  Not with her sighted Mother, but 
>> >>> she
>> >>> wanted to be like her Daddy.  She was three and used good cane
>> >>> technique.
>> >>> Now she is a nurse and graduated with a 3.93 GPA.  She understood the
>> >>> world
>> >>> this way when she was small.
>> >>> Mommies can see and Daddies can't.  Made sense to her.
>> >>>
>> >
>