I've been studying the psycho-social-spiritual process by which women improve
their relatioship with body, food and weight for more than 10 years. It is
also the topic of my nearly complete doctoral disseration. Those who would
like to expand their capacity to help women in this process of change might
consider incorporating some of what I've learned into your perceptions and
expressions of the issue at hand.

At the core of making lasting change with our bodies is the ability to trust
ourselves and to trust our ability to know what is uniquely best for our
individual bodies. Being pressured by well-meaning health professionals and
loved ones often undermines a women's trust in her own discernment procees
and her ability to know what is best for her. Ray is a shining example of
some one who had the confidence and determination to pursue his own answers,
and test them in his own physical experience rather than blindly relying on
advice from traditional health "experts." Professionals and loved ones of
women who are yo-yo dieting or diet hopping can better help these women by
encouraging them to slow down, listen to their bodies, and to trust their own
physical experience (how they relate to their bodies) as a first step.

For some women this means becoming anti-diet, "legalizing" all foods, and
frequently, gaining weight. However unhooking from the diet mentality is a
huge step toward health for diet/food/size obsessed women. While the behavior
and consequences may be alarming to loved ones, it often proves to be a key
step forward for women in the process of improving their relationship with
body. Many regain a sense of self-mastery and appreciation of their
discernment abilities such that any movement toward changing their food and
exercise choices is done not out of submission to external authoritative
standards but out of regard for their own standards, preferences, and desire
for good health. Trusting that women are in a process that has its own timing
and wisdom is one of the most helpful qualities to come from loved ones.
Outside pressure often just instigates overt or covert rebellion.

Living, learning, and making change exist in context. Judging the lives of
others, including "fattie," comes neither out of compassion nor a necessary
awareness of the limits of our ability to understand a life we have not lived
or received enough information about to make meaning of. Perpetuating a
condescending myth about the needs, health, and future consequences of fat
women is helpful to no one. Except, perhaps, to give the judger/mythmaker an
inflated sense of self-importance.

These are my last comments on this topic as I've got a tight deadline to meet
for my dissertation.

Happy Trails,
Becky Coleman